Check out these three books I cannot believe actually exist:
- How to Avoid Huge Ships
- How to Draw a Straight Line
- How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Time Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A little humor for you book club
Belong to a book club? Want a good laugh?
Check out these three books I cannot believe actually exist:
Check out these three books I cannot believe actually exist:
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Christmas concludes on a high note
As I mentioned in my last post, customs was holding the box with our Christmas gifts. We did not receive this box in time for Christmas morning. I had to make a choice: explain to my daughter why she did not receive the only gift she asked Santa to bring her (and then give it to her later when it finally arrived) or buy her one so she would have a very memorable Christmas morning. I opted for the latter and we spent Friday afternoon searching every mall nearby for a dollhouse. We finally found a store selling one made with the same level of quality we were seeking. Thankfully, they were running a special that bundled three rooms worth of furniture.
Christmas morning, I was up at 4 AM (insomnia) and the kids joined me around 7. I carried our son down the stairs and set him on the ground. The minute he was free from my grasp, he rushed over to a zebra we re-gifted him (our daughter never took to it) and bounced up and down on it like it had been his for an eternity. Our daughter couldn't decide whether to run to her bike or play with her doll house - she opted for the bike first.
After twenty minutes admiring and marvelling over Santa's deliveries, we opened the gifts we received from family (the ones that actually made it to us). Two hours later, we were finished. I don't think I've ever opened that many presents in one sitting. Usually, we are opening presents at three or four different events. Opening them all at the same time is a bit overwhelming. Looking out at all our Christmas bounty while living in such a poor country, really made me feel gluttonous....it didn't help that I spent a day's wages for my driver to have someone wrap my wife's presents for me.
The kids, however, loved every minute of it.
Christmas night, as we were preparing for our dinner, our long awaited box arrived. Digging through the thirteen new gifts was like another visit from Santa. Everything was in there - including the lotion. It was nice to have them on Christmas Day, even though we didn't get them for Christmas morning.
(Discussing our experience with one of our neighbors I learned that he, too, had a box containing Christmas gifts held in customs for nearly four weeks. The shipping agency he used asked if he wanted to pay a fee to help expedite. He refused. They then told him customs was requiring an import tax. He asked for the specific law detailing what he owed. When they provided the law - in Indonesian - it indicated he owed nothing. He personally made a visit to customs, asked to speak with a senior officer, showed him the law and asked him to explain why it was being held for additional fees. Only then did they release it to him with no further requirements. He mentioned a few other expats had experienced similar problems. It appears there was a concerted effort by customs officers to either: 1) put a strain on the celebration of a Christian holiday; 2) use it for monetary gain. And this is why business don't come to Indonesia.)
For us, it didn't matter. We still had a great Christmas.
Christmas morning, I was up at 4 AM (insomnia) and the kids joined me around 7. I carried our son down the stairs and set him on the ground. The minute he was free from my grasp, he rushed over to a zebra we re-gifted him (our daughter never took to it) and bounced up and down on it like it had been his for an eternity. Our daughter couldn't decide whether to run to her bike or play with her doll house - she opted for the bike first.
After twenty minutes admiring and marvelling over Santa's deliveries, we opened the gifts we received from family (the ones that actually made it to us). Two hours later, we were finished. I don't think I've ever opened that many presents in one sitting. Usually, we are opening presents at three or four different events. Opening them all at the same time is a bit overwhelming. Looking out at all our Christmas bounty while living in such a poor country, really made me feel gluttonous....it didn't help that I spent a day's wages for my driver to have someone wrap my wife's presents for me.
The kids, however, loved every minute of it.
Christmas night, as we were preparing for our dinner, our long awaited box arrived. Digging through the thirteen new gifts was like another visit from Santa. Everything was in there - including the lotion. It was nice to have them on Christmas Day, even though we didn't get them for Christmas morning.
(Discussing our experience with one of our neighbors I learned that he, too, had a box containing Christmas gifts held in customs for nearly four weeks. The shipping agency he used asked if he wanted to pay a fee to help expedite. He refused. They then told him customs was requiring an import tax. He asked for the specific law detailing what he owed. When they provided the law - in Indonesian - it indicated he owed nothing. He personally made a visit to customs, asked to speak with a senior officer, showed him the law and asked him to explain why it was being held for additional fees. Only then did they release it to him with no further requirements. He mentioned a few other expats had experienced similar problems. It appears there was a concerted effort by customs officers to either: 1) put a strain on the celebration of a Christian holiday; 2) use it for monetary gain. And this is why business don't come to Indonesia.)
For us, it didn't matter. We still had a great Christmas.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Jakata, I'm not feeling you
There are days (weeks, months) when living in a third world country really takes its toll. When the perks just do not outweigh the problems. This month, this day, is one of those times.
Let's start with the biggest pain point: Customs. I understand the customs laws of most countries. Countries ban importation of things that can damage the ecosystem (like animals, plants, seeds, and carriers of such) and goods from countries under trade embargoes (ie, Cuban cigars). Indonesia? Lotion. Yes, lotion. It happens that my daughter's main Christmas gift from us, along with several other gifts for our kids, were shipped from the US in the same box as some lotion. Customs has been holding this box now for 16 days and counting. They need the shipping company (in this case, DHL) to confirm that the lotion from Victoria's Secret is not narcotics, or explosives, or some other ridiculousness that is easily tested for. Something tells me there is a customs agent that is eyeing a New Year's gift for his wife or girlfriend. I told them today to just remove the lotion from the box so we can have all of our kids' Christmas gifts.
Today we had to go to immigration....again. We were just there in October for the exact same process. It wouldn't be so bad if the experience didn't involve standing in a building more full than a Cancun bar during Spring Break filled with people of questionable bathing habits and worse manners. Between the body odor, people sitting on already narrow stairs, the crowding around doors and surging in like cows released from a corral the minute they open, the lack of organization ("take a number" seems worlds away here) and the overall inconvenience factor, I'm glad my company handles all of this for me. If I had to do it myself, it wouldn't be worth it. Showing up for a picture, fingerprinting and signature is painful enough.
To top off my day, I had yet another explosive experience with the power supply. Since we've been here I've:
Did I really sign up for this?
Let's start with the biggest pain point: Customs. I understand the customs laws of most countries. Countries ban importation of things that can damage the ecosystem (like animals, plants, seeds, and carriers of such) and goods from countries under trade embargoes (ie, Cuban cigars). Indonesia? Lotion. Yes, lotion. It happens that my daughter's main Christmas gift from us, along with several other gifts for our kids, were shipped from the US in the same box as some lotion. Customs has been holding this box now for 16 days and counting. They need the shipping company (in this case, DHL) to confirm that the lotion from Victoria's Secret is not narcotics, or explosives, or some other ridiculousness that is easily tested for. Something tells me there is a customs agent that is eyeing a New Year's gift for his wife or girlfriend. I told them today to just remove the lotion from the box so we can have all of our kids' Christmas gifts.
Today we had to go to immigration....again. We were just there in October for the exact same process. It wouldn't be so bad if the experience didn't involve standing in a building more full than a Cancun bar during Spring Break filled with people of questionable bathing habits and worse manners. Between the body odor, people sitting on already narrow stairs, the crowding around doors and surging in like cows released from a corral the minute they open, the lack of organization ("take a number" seems worlds away here) and the overall inconvenience factor, I'm glad my company handles all of this for me. If I had to do it myself, it wouldn't be worth it. Showing up for a picture, fingerprinting and signature is painful enough.
To top off my day, I had yet another explosive experience with the power supply. Since we've been here I've:
- Blown the power supply for our keyboard
- Had water leak from our AC units into the walls causing a power surge that popped my modem, our baby monitor, a surge protector, and anything else plugged into the same wall on any floor
- Threw out a Christmas tree because the wires became frayed, created direct contact with the metal of the tree and gave me an electrical burn on my fingers when I reached into the tree to determine why one bank of lights weren't working
- Dealt with sockets that are so loose that keeping my laptop charged requires finagling with my plug in much the same way I used to adjust the rabbit ears on my television thirty years ago.
Did I really sign up for this?
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Christmas in Jakarta
One would likely think that Christmas in a tropical, Muslim country doesn't quite feel like Christmas. Other than lacking snow - which we never had in Arizona, either - the only difference in Jakarta is that we don't aren't inundated with the advertising because we don't watch TV or listen to the radio.
The malls in Jakarta are a close proxy for their US counterparts. All of the malls are busy and decorated in Christmas fare: Christmas trees, ornaments hanging from the ceiling, one even installed an ice skating rink and sledding hill on the ground floor. There aren't as many Christmas sales, and decorations are a little more difficult to find (and what we do find is quite expensive), but Christmas is alive and well in Jakarta.
Last week Friday, my first and only day in the office that week after our trip to Singapore, my company had our office Christmas party. At 4:30, our cafeteria echoed with songs sung by a children's choir. This particular travels, competes in international tournaments and often wins. They were, as you would expect, very good. In addition to the choir, we had a sermon by a local priest, two other choral groups, group singing, and a skit, followed by a dinner. The skit was, to put it lightly, a bit odd. The entire skit was in Indonesian, so I'm relying on the translation of the person next to me who was nice enough to explain what was going on, but I doubt preventing suicide would traditionally be part of a Christmas program in the US.
The biggest difference for me is I'm not juggling coverage at work. Of my thirty-five member team, only three people are taking time off of work - and one of those is because he is getting married. September, on the other hand, during Ramadan, more than 75% of my staff takes time off of work. All part of working internationally.
Merry Christmas everyone!
The malls in Jakarta are a close proxy for their US counterparts. All of the malls are busy and decorated in Christmas fare: Christmas trees, ornaments hanging from the ceiling, one even installed an ice skating rink and sledding hill on the ground floor. There aren't as many Christmas sales, and decorations are a little more difficult to find (and what we do find is quite expensive), but Christmas is alive and well in Jakarta.
Last week Friday, my first and only day in the office that week after our trip to Singapore, my company had our office Christmas party. At 4:30, our cafeteria echoed with songs sung by a children's choir. This particular travels, competes in international tournaments and often wins. They were, as you would expect, very good. In addition to the choir, we had a sermon by a local priest, two other choral groups, group singing, and a skit, followed by a dinner. The skit was, to put it lightly, a bit odd. The entire skit was in Indonesian, so I'm relying on the translation of the person next to me who was nice enough to explain what was going on, but I doubt preventing suicide would traditionally be part of a Christmas program in the US.
The biggest difference for me is I'm not juggling coverage at work. Of my thirty-five member team, only three people are taking time off of work - and one of those is because he is getting married. September, on the other hand, during Ramadan, more than 75% of my staff takes time off of work. All part of working internationally.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
More Singapore Fun
There is always plenty for us to do in Singapore - rain or shine. After our walk with the dinosaurs on Saturday, we decided to pursue a less...dangerous event and went, once again, to Wild Wild Wet. Our daughter is still not yet tall enough to enjoy the faster rides alone, but she really enjoys the fast inner tube ride and some of the smaller slides built for kids her age. They even have an ankle-deep pool for toddlers that our son could enjoy.
On Monday, my wife had an ultra-sound appointment and other routine baby appointments, so I stayed at the hotel with the kids. When the appointment was over, my wife took our daughter to Rapunzel (called "Tangled" in the US) while my son and I looked for a Wi-Fi location in Singapore. Finally ended up at a Starbucks....of course. Singapore is a wealthy city-state and it is all on display at Christmas time in the city. We counted over 30 gigantic Christmas trees.
Tuesday we returned to Universal Studios. The two main attractions (Madagascar and the main roller coaster) are still not operating nearly a year after opening. The paucity of rides means that it is truly not yet worth the price of admission....unless you are too small for the big rides anyway. Our kids had more fun meeting the characters, making new friends, styling their hair, and just playing in the water fountains. Our son developed his own paparazzi following.
Wednesday was a day of shopping while we waited for our passport renewal so we could leave early Thursday morning. The only odd event of the day was our cab ride from dinner to the hotel. We ended up with a cabbie who claimed to be a former executive of a high profile Singaporean company who gave it all up to protect his soul and found a new calling as a proselytizing Christan cab driver. He prayed for us. Very odd man.
The only thing further I'll share is that, despite its five star rating and the quality of the staff, especially the concierge, I would not recommend staying at The Goodwood Park Hotel. The walls are very thin - we woke up to someone drying their hair - and the television options when you are winding down for the evening are non-existent unless all you want is international news or sports - they have 4 channels of each of those. I think it will very soon become a wedding's only location. There were four wedding parties in the six days we stayed there.
We'll probably head back to Singapore in March to select our new housing arrangements for when we have our new arrival in July. We'll be living there again for about ten weeks around the birth. Looking forward to it!
On Monday, my wife had an ultra-sound appointment and other routine baby appointments, so I stayed at the hotel with the kids. When the appointment was over, my wife took our daughter to Rapunzel (called "Tangled" in the US) while my son and I looked for a Wi-Fi location in Singapore. Finally ended up at a Starbucks....of course. Singapore is a wealthy city-state and it is all on display at Christmas time in the city. We counted over 30 gigantic Christmas trees.
Tuesday we returned to Universal Studios. The two main attractions (Madagascar and the main roller coaster) are still not operating nearly a year after opening. The paucity of rides means that it is truly not yet worth the price of admission....unless you are too small for the big rides anyway. Our kids had more fun meeting the characters, making new friends, styling their hair, and just playing in the water fountains. Our son developed his own paparazzi following.
Wednesday was a day of shopping while we waited for our passport renewal so we could leave early Thursday morning. The only odd event of the day was our cab ride from dinner to the hotel. We ended up with a cabbie who claimed to be a former executive of a high profile Singaporean company who gave it all up to protect his soul and found a new calling as a proselytizing Christan cab driver. He prayed for us. Very odd man.
The only thing further I'll share is that, despite its five star rating and the quality of the staff, especially the concierge, I would not recommend staying at The Goodwood Park Hotel. The walls are very thin - we woke up to someone drying their hair - and the television options when you are winding down for the evening are non-existent unless all you want is international news or sports - they have 4 channels of each of those. I think it will very soon become a wedding's only location. There were four wedding parties in the six days we stayed there.
We'll probably head back to Singapore in March to select our new housing arrangements for when we have our new arrival in July. We'll be living there again for about ten weeks around the birth. Looking forward to it!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Return to Singapore
Now that we are expecting our third child in July, it was time to make another trip to Singapore to visit with the doctors. As usual, we like to combine a medical trip with a mini-vacation to save on expenses. The insurance picks up the cost of the airfare and hotel and provides a per diem, which makes the vacation side pretty inexpensive.
For fun, we keep trying new hotels. This trip, we stayed at the Goodwood Park Hotel on Scotts Road. We arrived early Friday evening for a late check-in, had quick dinner, and went to bed.
Earlier in the week, we researched what events were happening in Singapore while we would be there. We found several plays and shows that were aimed at kids. The two we wanted to attend were a Pinocchio play and a Dinosaur adventure. For Pinocchio, our son was too young, and they would not admit him, so I would take our daughter and my wife would take her to the new Rapunzel movie (called "Tangled" in the US). Walking with Dinosaurs was open to all ages, and lap children were free.
Saturday, we were able to procure third-row-center tickets to Walking with Dinosaurs at the Singapore Indoor Stadium Complex. The show was absolutely amazing. The dinosaurs were full scale replicas and , if you didn't look underneath them, it was easy to believe they were the real thing - right down to the mucus glistening in their noses. They staged battles and chased our "guide" around the stadium.
Our son was fascinated and frequently demanded our attention so he could point to the moving beasts and smile at us. Our daughter vacillated from fear to excitement, gripping our arms with a death lock when she was scared and anxiously fidgeting in her seat when she was excited. The history lesson was interesting for the adults, too, so the entire family had a great time.
If Walking with Dinosaurs comes to a city near you, it is an absolute must see (though it appears the US tour is already over).
After the show we went to what used to be our favorite restaurant in Singapore - Tapas. As we learned on our last trip, it has new management and a new name: Octapas. It did not change for the better. The menu is similar, but not as good. The service has deteriorated to the point that we felt like we were interrupting something more important when we placed our order, even though we were only one of three tables that early in the evening. We'll have to find a new restaurant. Good thing Singapore is constantly adding new eateries - and there is a Muchos Mexican Cantina two buildings down from Octapas.
For fun, we keep trying new hotels. This trip, we stayed at the Goodwood Park Hotel on Scotts Road. We arrived early Friday evening for a late check-in, had quick dinner, and went to bed.
Earlier in the week, we researched what events were happening in Singapore while we would be there. We found several plays and shows that were aimed at kids. The two we wanted to attend were a Pinocchio play and a Dinosaur adventure. For Pinocchio, our son was too young, and they would not admit him, so I would take our daughter and my wife would take her to the new Rapunzel movie (called "Tangled" in the US). Walking with Dinosaurs was open to all ages, and lap children were free.
Saturday, we were able to procure third-row-center tickets to Walking with Dinosaurs at the Singapore Indoor Stadium Complex. The show was absolutely amazing. The dinosaurs were full scale replicas and , if you didn't look underneath them, it was easy to believe they were the real thing - right down to the mucus glistening in their noses. They staged battles and chased our "guide" around the stadium.
Our son was fascinated and frequently demanded our attention so he could point to the moving beasts and smile at us. Our daughter vacillated from fear to excitement, gripping our arms with a death lock when she was scared and anxiously fidgeting in her seat when she was excited. The history lesson was interesting for the adults, too, so the entire family had a great time.
If Walking with Dinosaurs comes to a city near you, it is an absolute must see (though it appears the US tour is already over).
After the show we went to what used to be our favorite restaurant in Singapore - Tapas. As we learned on our last trip, it has new management and a new name: Octapas. It did not change for the better. The menu is similar, but not as good. The service has deteriorated to the point that we felt like we were interrupting something more important when we placed our order, even though we were only one of three tables that early in the evening. We'll have to find a new restaurant. Good thing Singapore is constantly adding new eateries - and there is a Muchos Mexican Cantina two buildings down from Octapas.
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