A little humor for you book club

Belong to a book club? Want a good laugh?

Check out these three books I cannot believe actually exist:

• How to Avoid Huge Ships
• How to Draw a Straight Line
• How to Good-Bye Depression:  If You Constrict Anus 100 Time Everyday.  Malarkey?  or Effective Way?

Christmas concludes on a high note

As I mentioned in my last post, customs was holding the box with our Christmas gifts.  We did not receive this box in time for Christmas morning.  I had to make a choice:  explain to my daughter why she did not receive the only gift she asked Santa to bring her (and then give it to her later when it finally arrived) or buy her one so she would have a very memorable Christmas morning.  I opted for the latter and we spent Friday afternoon searching every mall nearby for a dollhouse.  We finally found a store selling one made with the same level of quality we were seeking.  Thankfully, they were running a special that bundled three rooms worth of furniture.

Christmas morning, I was up at 4 AM (insomnia) and the kids joined me around 7.  I carried our son down the stairs and set him on the ground.  The minute he was free from my grasp, he rushed over to a zebra we re-gifted him (our daughter never took to it) and bounced up and down on it like it had been his for an eternity.  Our daughter couldn't decide whether to run to her bike or play with her doll house - she opted for the bike first.

After twenty minutes admiring and marvelling over Santa's deliveries, we opened the gifts we received from family (the ones that actually made it to us).  Two hours later, we were finished.  I don't think I've ever opened that many presents in one sitting.  Usually, we are opening presents at three or four different events.  Opening them all at the same time is a bit overwhelming.  Looking out at all our Christmas bounty while living in such a poor country, really made me feel gluttonous....it didn't help that I spent a day's wages for my driver to have someone wrap my wife's presents for me.

The kids, however, loved every minute of it.

 

 

Christmas night, as we were preparing for our dinner, our long awaited box arrived.  Digging through the thirteen new gifts was like another visit from Santa.  Everything was in there - including the lotion.  It was nice to have them on Christmas Day, even though we didn't get them for Christmas morning. 

(Discussing our experience with one of our neighbors I learned that he, too, had a box containing Christmas gifts held in customs for nearly four weeks.  The shipping agency he used asked if he wanted to pay a fee to help expedite.  He refused.  They then told him customs was requiring an import tax.  He asked for the specific law detailing what he owed.  When they provided the law - in Indonesian - it indicated he owed nothing.  He personally made a visit to customs, asked to speak with a senior officer, showed him the law and asked him to explain why it was being held for additional fees.  Only then did they release it to him with no further requirements.  He mentioned a few other expats had experienced similar problems.  It appears there was a concerted effort by customs officers to either: 1) put a strain on the celebration of a Christian holiday; 2) use it for monetary gain.  And this is why business don't come to Indonesia.)

For us, it didn't matter.  We still had a great Christmas.

Jakata, I'm not feeling you

There are days (weeks, months) when living in a third world country really takes its toll.  When the perks just do not outweigh the problems.  This month, this day, is one of those times.

Let's start with the biggest pain point:  Customs.  I understand the customs laws of most countries.  Countries ban importation of things that can damage the ecosystem (like animals, plants, seeds, and carriers of such) and goods from countries under trade embargoes (ie, Cuban cigars).  Indonesia?  Lotion.  Yes, lotion.  It happens that my daughter's main Christmas gift from us, along with several other gifts for our kids, were shipped from the US in the same box as some lotion.  Customs has been holding this box now for 16 days and counting.  They need the shipping company (in this case, DHL) to confirm that the lotion from Victoria's Secret is not narcotics, or explosives, or some other ridiculousness that is easily tested for.  Something tells me there is a customs agent that is eyeing a New Year's gift for his wife or girlfriend.  I told them today to just remove the lotion from the box so we can have all of our kids' Christmas gifts.

Today we had to go to immigration....again.  We were just there in October for the exact same process.  It wouldn't be so bad if the experience didn't involve standing in a building more full than a Cancun bar during Spring Break filled with people of questionable bathing habits and worse manners.  Between the body odor, people sitting on already narrow stairs, the crowding around doors and surging in like cows released from a corral the minute they open, the lack of organization ("take a number" seems worlds away here) and the overall inconvenience factor, I'm glad my company handles all of this for me.  If I had to do it myself, it wouldn't be worth it.  Showing up for a picture, fingerprinting and signature is painful enough.

To top off my day, I had yet another explosive experience with the power supply.  Since we've been here I've:

• Blown the power supply for our keyboard
• Had water leak from our AC units into the walls causing a power surge that popped my modem, our baby monitor, a surge protector, and anything else plugged into the same wall on any floor
• Threw out a Christmas tree because the wires became frayed, created direct contact with the metal of the tree and gave me an electrical burn on my fingers when I reached into the tree to determine why one bank of lights weren't working
• Dealt with sockets that are so loose that keeping my laptop charged requires finagling with my plug in much the same way I used to adjust the rabbit ears on my television thirty years ago. 

Now, today, I finally decide to plug in my Wii again using a newly acquired power converter that is SUPPOSED to reduce the power from 220 volts to the 110 volts the Wii power supply accepts.  Of course, when I plug it in, the power supply pops, rendering it useless.  So, now I have a $200 paperweight.  Hopefully, I can just replace the power supply, like I did with the keyboard.  It will likely cost another $50, though.

Did I really sign up for this?

Christmas in Jakarta

One would likely think that Christmas in a tropical, Muslim country doesn't quite feel like Christmas.  Other than lacking snow - which we never had in Arizona, either - the only difference in Jakarta is that we don't aren't inundated with the advertising because we don't watch TV or listen to the radio.

The malls in Jakarta are a close proxy for their US counterparts.  All of the malls are busy and decorated in Christmas fare:  Christmas trees, ornaments hanging from the ceiling, one even installed an ice skating rink and sledding hill on the ground floor.  There aren't as many Christmas sales, and decorations are a little more difficult to find (and what we do find is quite expensive), but Christmas is alive and well in Jakarta.

Last week Friday, my first and only day in the office that week after our trip to Singapore, my company had our office Christmas party.  At 4:30, our cafeteria echoed with songs sung by a children's choir.  This particular travels, competes in international tournaments and often wins.  They were, as you would expect, very good.  In addition to the choir, we had a sermon by a local priest, two other choral groups, group singing, and a skit, followed by a dinner.  The skit was, to put it lightly, a bit odd.  The entire skit was in Indonesian, so I'm relying on the translation of the person next to me who was nice enough to explain what was going on, but I doubt preventing suicide would traditionally be part of a Christmas program in the US.

The biggest difference for me is I'm not juggling coverage at work.  Of my thirty-five member team, only three people are taking time off of work - and one of those is because he is getting married.  September, on the other hand, during Ramadan, more than 75% of my staff takes time off of work.  All part of working internationally.

Merry Christmas everyone!

More Singapore Fun

There is always plenty for us to do in Singapore - rain or shine.  After our walk with the dinosaurs on Saturday, we decided to pursue a less...dangerous event and went, once again, to Wild Wild Wet.  Our daughter is still not yet tall enough to enjoy the faster rides alone, but she really enjoys the fast inner tube ride and some of the smaller slides built for kids her age.  They even have an ankle-deep pool for toddlers that our son could enjoy.

On Monday, my wife had an ultra-sound appointment and other routine baby appointments, so I stayed at the hotel with the kids.  When the appointment was over, my wife took our daughter to Rapunzel (called "Tangled" in the US) while my son and I looked for a Wi-Fi location in Singapore.  Finally ended up at a Starbucks....of course.  Singapore is a wealthy city-state and it is all on display at Christmas time in the city.  We counted over 30 gigantic Christmas trees.

 

Tuesday we returned to Universal Studios.  The two main attractions (Madagascar and the main roller coaster) are still not operating nearly a year after opening.  The paucity of rides means that it is truly not yet worth the price of admission....unless you are too small for the big rides anyway.  Our kids had more fun meeting the characters, making new friends, styling their hair, and just playing in the water fountains.  Our son developed his own paparazzi following.

 

 

 




Wednesday was a day of shopping while we waited for our passport renewal so we could leave early Thursday morning.  The only odd event of the day was our cab ride from dinner to the hotel.  We ended up with a cabbie who claimed to be a former executive of a high profile Singaporean company who gave it all up to protect his soul and found a new calling as a proselytizing Christan cab driver.  He prayed for us.  Very odd man.

The only thing further I'll share is that, despite its five star rating and the quality of the staff, especially the concierge, I would not recommend staying at The Goodwood Park Hotel.  The walls are very thin - we woke up to someone drying their hair - and the television options when you are winding down for the evening are non-existent unless all you want is international news or sports - they have 4 channels of each of those.  I think it will very soon become a wedding's only location.  There were four wedding parties in the six days we stayed there.

We'll probably head back to Singapore in March to select our new housing arrangements for when we have our new arrival in July.  We'll be living there again for about ten weeks around the birth.  Looking forward to it!

Return to Singapore

Now that we are expecting our third child in July, it was time to make another trip to Singapore to visit with the doctors.  As usual, we like to combine a medical trip with a mini-vacation to save on expenses.  The insurance picks up the cost of the airfare and hotel and provides a per diem, which makes the vacation side pretty inexpensive.

For fun, we keep trying new hotels.  This trip, we stayed at the Goodwood Park Hotel on Scotts Road.  We arrived early Friday evening for a late check-in, had  quick dinner, and went to bed.

Earlier in the week, we researched what events were happening in Singapore while we would be there.  We found several plays and shows that were aimed at kids.  The two we wanted to attend were a Pinocchio play and a Dinosaur adventure.  For Pinocchio, our son was too young, and they would not admit him, so I would take our daughter and my wife would take her to the new Rapunzel movie (called "Tangled" in the US).  Walking with Dinosaurs was open to all ages, and lap children were free.

Saturday, we were able to procure third-row-center tickets to Walking with Dinosaurs at the Singapore Indoor Stadium Complex.  The show was absolutely amazing.  The dinosaurs were full scale replicas and , if you didn't look underneath them, it was easy to believe they were the real thing - right down to the mucus glistening in their noses.  They staged battles and chased our "guide" around the stadium.

Our son was fascinated and frequently demanded our attention so he could point to the moving beasts and smile at us.  Our daughter vacillated from fear to excitement, gripping our arms with a death lock when she was scared and anxiously fidgeting in her seat when she was excited.  The history lesson was interesting for the adults, too, so the entire family had a great time.

If Walking with Dinosaurs comes to a city near you, it is an absolute must see (though it appears the US tour is already over).

After the show we went to what used to be our favorite restaurant in Singapore - Tapas.  As we learned on our last trip, it has new management and a new name:  Octapas.  It did not change for the better.  The menu is similar, but not as good.  The service has deteriorated to the point that we felt like we were interrupting something more important when we placed our order, even though we were only one of three tables that early in the evening.  We'll have to find a new restaurant.  Good thing Singapore is constantly adding new eateries - and there is a Muchos Mexican Cantina two buildings down from Octapas.

Credit where credit is due

Last week, I wrote about my misadventures with WalMart and their dryer sheets.  I used their website to send them the following complaint:

"We are expats in Jakarta, Indonesia. On a return visit to the US, we went to a Walmart store in Scottsdale, AZ and bought $300+ worth of food to ship back - comfort food we cannot find in Indonesia. We also bought the dryer sheets - another item not available in Indonesia. We shipped the dryer sheets in the same box as our food. This turned out to be both costly and unhealthy. The dryer sheets contaminated any food in a permeable container - specifically, anything that is only housed in cardboard or paper. I missed a half day of work after consuming 5 bites of oatmeal. I was nauseous and dizzy for a few hours. Before you get worried, I have no intention of suing. All I really want is to have you ship me, at your expense, replacements for the food we had to throw out. The oatmeal, cereal, and pudding we tasted before deciding it was inedible. The rest we threw out based on smell - they smell of dryer sheets. Here is the list:

• 2 boxes Cheerios value size
• 2 boxes Quaker Oats 2lb, 10 oz whole old fashioned
• 1 box raspberry jello 6 oz
• 5 boxes cherry jello 6 oz
• 4 boxes strawberry jello 6 oz
• 7 boxes chocolate pudding 6 oz
• 6 boxes of Rica A Roni 6.4 oz

 

This week, a day before I would have sent a follow up complaint, they responded to my complaint and advised me on the next steps.  I was anticipating a much longer wait time, and more struggles.  Of course, I haven't been told they'll compensate me yet, so I temper my enthusiasm with that reality.

But, credit where it is due, they recognized, responded, and validated my claim.  Now they just need to make me whole.

Old Favorites Disappoint

The first car I ever owned was a 1984 Chevy Citation. I was the third person, and the third generation, to drive that four-door vehicle. I'll always have fond memories of it as my first car. It also is the reason I don't by Chevrolet any more - it barely lasted a year for me.

My next car was a Toyota Tercel. We bought it used, and it lasted for my senior year in High School, all the way through college, and up until my first real job, when I promptly bought another Toyota. Since then, I've purchased nothing but Toyota vehicles. I recommended them, I purchased them, I identified with them. They were my brand.

I was surprised and disappointed by the quality issues they had last year. When you associate with something, when you vouch for something, if they don't live up to your expectations, it doesn't just disappoint, it hurts. It's as if the issue broadcasts to the world the inadequacy of your opinion.

This week, three of our brands disappointed. We're still reeling from the last one.

1)  On Friday, we attended the Beaujolais Nouveau event hosted by the Indonesia France Chamber of Commerce and sponsored by the French Embassy.  The French Ambassador to Indonesia gave the opening remarks.  This has always been one of our favorite wines.  Every year, we borrow several cases and consume them quickly....except when we moved to Indonesia.  So we were very excited to get tickets to the event this year.  Unfortunately, the wine was average, the event was boring, and we no longer have the same excitement for the wine we once did.

2)  One of the great things about Indonesia is the ability to get quality craftsmanship for unbeatable prices.  Most of the world's top designer outsource the fabrication of the garments to Indonesia.  As do many manufacturers.  With the low wages and low cost of living, artisans crafts are also a steal.  A few weeks ago, we wanted to plan a garden and purchases several large ceramic pots to substitute for not having a yard.  We planted carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes and sunflowers.  Up until Saturday, everything was going well.  On Saturday, I decided our plants are getting too much water from all the rain we've been getting and moved them to a place they would get less water but the same amount of sunlight.  When I lifted one of the pots, it crumbled in my hands.  So much for quality workmanship.

3)  Our favorite restaurant in Jakarta is Hacienda.  I've raved about it on this site numerous times.  We've been there at least once a week since we moved here.  Last Saturday, on our weekly visit, the unthinkable happened:  We left wondering if we could bring ourselves to go back.  Hacienda welcomes its guests with free chips and salsa.  It's always good and is one of the reasons we go.  They serve the chips in a wicker basket lined with a napkin.  We were half-way through our free chips when we noticed that there was salsa stains on the basket.  They weren't from us.  We pointed out the error and, as any good restaurant will, they replaced it.  We shrugged it off and continued eating....only to discover that this time, the napkin they used, and some of the chips, had someone else's guacamole.  Unforgivable.  This only happens if they serve us something already on another table.  What did we get for it?  Free sour cream.

When otherwise reliable brands let you down, your inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt.  They've typically accumulated enough reputational credits that you can overlook a few minor mishaps.  When the issue is with the crux of the service - the taste of the wine, the quality of the product, cleanliness of the food - the brand is not only back to square one, they are in negative territory.

With the Beaujolais, I'm sure we'll buy it again, but not in the same volume until it proves itself once again.  And we'll temper our expectations of the cheap products of Indonesia, and inspect them more heavily and demand they go even cheaper on the price.  As for Hacienda, I think it will likely be a while before we visit again; and we'll inspect everything they put in front of us much more thoroughly.

Ending "Gate Rape"

As we approach the busiest travel season of the year in the US, I've  seen a lot of chatter on news sites and blogs regarding the new TSA scanners and "invasive" pat downs. The new, virtual strip searches and authorized gropings have created a security versus privacy debate unlike anything I've seen in recent memory. On the one side stands the terrorist-phobic public who wants to protect lives at any cost. On the other side are the conspiracy theorists who feel the government is going to store the images and leak them to the internet for profit.

I tend to fall in the middle. And, because I've never been one to see a problem without offering a solution, I hereby submit my quick-fix, immediately implementable solutions to this growing problem:

1. Privatize the screening. Prior to September 11, airport screening was privatized. After September 11, Congress created the TSA and put them in charge of screening passengers. I called foul immediately, and still do. Having a government agency perform a search is a violation of the Fourth Amendment rights which guards against illegal searches and seizures. The TSA searching your belongings and person at an airport is, without any stretch, a warrant-less search and seizure. A more appropriate law would be to hold airlines accountable for security and make them liable for acts of terrorism in the case of negligence (they are not liable today), and then provide guidelines for what constitutes negligence so the airlines don't raise ticket prices to ridiculous levels to cover their insurance premiums. Private enterprise would then intervene and find the best way to make screening fast, effective, and safe - all without a fourth amendment violation.


2. Use extremely high-powered magnets. If you stick to the wall as you walk by, you cannot fly. You'll have to remove your jewelry, watches, glasses, belt buckles, steel-toed boots and hope the iron levels in your blood are low, but it would find any weapons that are not plastic explosives. To find the plastic explosives, you need to implement my final suggestion.


3. Make all flights, nude flights. The security benefits are obvious - nothing to hide because there is nowhere to hide it! Can you put much more than an M-80 in a body cavity? Also, since the typical terrorist considers the naked body of the opposite gender an affront to their morality, they would be scripturally forbidden from flying. The additional benefits to this solution are astounding. First, think of the fuel savings achieved when obese people stop flying. It may even help combat America's obesity epidemic. People would start losing weight so they could travel by air. Second, flights with children will be drastically reduced. No more obnoxious seven year-olds running up and down the aisles - though crying babies would probably still be common. Finally, consider the boost to other industries: sunglasses to hide where eyes are looking; grooming products; body makeup. The benefits just keep growing!

Ultimately, I think, if we're willing to think outside the box, we can find a creative middle ground. As for me, I'm going to put #3 into practice on my next flight.

Watch for me in the news! I wonder if I'll make it to the ticket counter?

I'm Mad as Hell and I'm not Going to Take it Anymore

My wife humors my internet distractions - fantasy sports, online games, blogging.  She did impose a few rules for me with my blog:

1. Don't drink and blog
2. Don't blog while mad
3. Don't reveal too much

I'm having to break rule #2 today.

 

As I mentioned in my last blog, we shipped 120 pounds of food from the US.  As of today, we've discarded roughly forty pounds of it, and the amount increases daily.

 

On Monday, I was the first to eat some of our newly arrived food (other than the brownies from the weekend).  Every morning, I have a bowl of oats with raisins and honey for breakfast.  With my first bite, I knew something was terribly wrong.  I gagged at the taste.  I thought maybe I had eaten a big glob of honey (a flavor I can only appreciate in small doses), so I tried a second bite.  This time, the raisins tasted odd.  I spent time separating all the raisins to one side of the bowl and ate a few more bites of the oatmeal.  The flavor was not improving.  After my fifth bite, I gave up.

 

Included in our box of food were two boxes of raisins.  They had broken open in transit and were open and uncovered for at least two weeks in a variety of conditions.  They smelled okay, but we didn't trust them.  I texted my wife and asked if they were in my oats.  She said no, but that she smelled the oats and they smelled of perfume.

 

Then it hit me.  In addition to food, we bought some laundry supplies - stain stick, spray and wash, and dryer sheets.  My oatmeal tasted like the dryer sheets smelled.  About an hour later, I was feeling nauseous and dizzy and decided to go home for the day.  My stomach was uneasy the rest of the day.

 

We inspected all of our food.  Much of it smelled like the dryer sheets.  The few items we risked preparing - Cheerios, chocolate pudding, Rice A Roni - tasted like the dryer sheets.  The thing these all have in common - they were inside cardboard boxes with a paper-based internal packaging, or no internal packaging at all.

 

So, thanks to the Walmart Great Value brand dryer sheets, we've discarded about $100 worth of the food we shipped.  The list includes:

• 2 boxes Cheerios value size
• 2 boxes Quaker Oats 2lb, 10 oz whole old fashioned
• 1 box raspberry jello 6 oz
• 5 boxes cherry jello 6 oz
• 4 boxes strawberry jello 6 oz
• 7 boxes chocolate pudding 6 oz
• 6 boxes of Rica A Roni 6.4 oz
• 1 box blueberry muffin mix

Using the Walmart website, I submitted a product complaint about the dryer sheets.  In it, I have requested that Walmart send me a replacement for all of the food I've had to throw away.  If they refuse, my next step will be to notify Consumer's Reports and the FDA of my experience, with a copy to WalMart.  I have not yet decided a Step 3....I hope I do not have to.  Based on what I now know about dryer sheets, Step 3 could get ugly.

Pictures!

The box of food we shipped from the US (all 120 pounds of it) arrived this week.  The contents were predominantly desserts we cannot find in Jakarta - cake, brownie, pudding, jello and frosting.  My daughter and I wasted no time making brownies.  She decided she couldn't wait for them to cook.

Sunday's we stay at home and do things as a family - swim, watch movies, nap.  While watching The Simpsons on the way home from work, I got the idea to make masks using paper plates (for The Simpsons geeks out there, it's from season 17 when Marge babysits Rod and Todd).

My son loves showing off his new walking skills.

The news is out...

Our second week back in Jakarta was, for the most part, a return to normalcy....at least as normal as life in Jakarta can be for an expat.

No longer dealing with jet lag, our son was once again sleeping through the night and waking at a less ungodly hour of 6 AM (he was waking at 3 AM when we first got here).  He used his new found restfulness to master the new skill he picked up on our trip to the U.S. - walking.  It's amazing to witness how quickly they go from taking those few cautious steps to walking around as if they've been doing it all their lives.  The only thing that stops him now is stairs.  He wants to hold someone's hand as he walks down those.

My daughter returned to school and her teacher was no longer sending home notes saying that she was not getting enough sleep.  When she was fighting jet lag, she must have doze off a few times, or been very lethargic, in class.  This week, her energy returned and she was selected leader of the class for the day on Monday.  She was very excited.  Being leader means you get to be first in all of the lines and you get to hold open the door for everyone else.

My wife spent her second week shuttling back and forth to various doctors.  It's a good thing our son was finally letting her sleep through the night.  She is going to need the additional rest as she incubates our third child.  Yep, that's right, we have number three on the way!  We won't have an official due date for another week or two, but the estimated delivery date now is my birthday in June.  We're hoping that July is more realistic, there are already too many June festivities (Father's Day, and birthdays for myself and my daughter, father, aunt and grandfather!)

As for me, I returned to the normalcy of work and routine.  Wednesday date night, Thursday rugby, Saturday family activities, and Sunday family day.  The only thing I picked up this week was playing tennis with some of my neighbors Sunday afternoon.  We had an odd number, so two paired off for singles play, and three of us played "American Style".  In American style, you play one on two.  The single player serves.  During play, the single plays the opposing court as doubles, but the double players must play the opposing court as a single.  If the single wins the game, it counts as two points.  If the doubles win, it counts as one point.  Players rotate clockwise at the conclusion of each game.  Winning six games wins the set.  I won the first set, and then my arm stopped working (fatigue) and I got skunked in the final two sets.  Great fun!  I hope to play again next week.

Obama in Jakarta

As the world is already aware, President Obama visited Jakarta this past Wednesday.  This was his third attempt, and it appears the third time was indeed, the charm, even though Mt. Metapi did its best to dissuade him from coming.  As it was, he shortened the visit from two days, to one day, and left early as the volcano began erupting again during his stay.  He was in Jakarta for 19 hours.

My invitation to join him for lunch never arrived, so his visit really had no effect on my life.  It did add a few highlights, though:

1)  Several people on my staff followed his visit quite closely.  All of the local news channels and papers covered the visit extensively.  What they found most interesting - at least in terms of what several mentioned to me regarding the visit - "Obama is more important than the Indonesian president".  Why?  Because when President Obama drove the streets, they were empty.  Local police shut the road to all other traffic - as is the standard protocol for a presidential motorcade in the U.S.  What makes it unique, however, is that the Indonesian President does not receive this same treatment.  He deals with traffic like everyone else.

2)  One of my neighbors was on the security detail for the presidential visit.  He and his family were able to join the breakfast with Obama the one morning he was here.  His four-year-old daughter got to see the president in person.  Pretty cool, regardless of your party affiliation.

3)  Any group that had an issue with my company used Obama's visit as an opportunity to gain visibility.  We had to shut down the front door to my office both days he was here.  We even rescheduled lunch because of one of the demonstrations.  Whether it be the Papuan's wanting a larger piece of the pie, or environmental groups wanting to close the operations altogether, they made the most of the president's visit.

I think the visit to Indonesia was important for both countries.  We have a real opportunity to repair our image with the group of people who love terrorizing us, and Indonesia is the place to do it.  Time will tell if the visit actually accomplished anything, but I appreciate the effort nonetheless.

The Premiere Ball Event in Jakarta....with Insaaf Dobberstein

Friday night (last night) my wife and I attended our first black tie event in Jakarta:  the Latin Ball.  The Spanish Speaking Women Association of Jakarta organized the event.  Some friends of ours heard about the event because they are friends with a woman from Spain who participates in the organization.  They invited us to join them.  We thought it sounded like fun and agreed to go.  I later discovered this is the premiere formal event for expats in Jakarta.

Most of the international clubs have balls throughout the year.  New Zealand, India, Japan all have formal balls, but the Latin Ball is the one everyone considers a "must attend".  Having attended, I understand why.  There were 52 tables of ten people.  The place was absolutely packed. 

According to the program for the evening, the event started at 7 PM with a cocktail hour, dinner and opening ceremonies started at 9 PM, at 10 PM dances and music native to the countries represented in the Spanish Speaking Women Association would start, followed by open bar and dancing with a live Latin band until 4 AM.

It was a great event and we had a really good time.

A few key points of interest:

1. To advertise the ball, they announced it to the local media.  If you view the link, you'll notice one detail is conspicuously missing:  The location.  The announcement refers to it as a "local five star hotel".  This is a security measure followed by organizers of large expat events to minimize risk of terrorist attack.  The venue is only listed on the tickets, which you can only pick up the day before the event; sometimes you must wait for the day of the event.  The tickets listed the Shangri-La Hotel as the venue. 
2. We registered last minute for the event, so the organizers did not have proper name cards for our table.  This also meant that the seating chart did not have our names.  We knew we were at the same table as our friends, so we took the seats that were unoccupied.  Both seats had the same name which became our alias for the evening:  "Insaaf Dobberstein".
3. Apparently, auctions don't work well at these events.  One of the sponsors donated jewelry worth $2,500 USD as a fundraising auction for a charity the organizers supported.  They started the bidding at $1,000.  No one bid.  They moved on to other portions of the program, and would request bids at various points.  Finally, someone at my table opened the bidding at $1,000.  No one else took the bait, and they moved on.  The gentleman who bid then asked me to make a higher bid and said he would then out bid me.  The idea was to try and create momentum.  I tracked down the master of ceremonies and bid $1,050.  Shortly thereafter (and much to my relief), the gentleman at my table bid $1,100.  Unfortunately, our gambit proved unsuccessful.  No one else bid, and he walked away with $2,500 worth of jewelry for $1,100.
4. I ran into one of the guys I play rugby with and several people who live in our neighborhood.  None of us knew the other would be in attendance.  This is just more proof of how truly small the expat community is in such a large city.  The Six Degrees of Separation for Jakarta expats is probably more like three.  This is really just more proof of what we all see (and too many resent) about American immigrant communities.  Humans like to associate with others who are like them.  We are drawn to locations and events where we feel like we fit in, even if we are among strangers.  Instead of chastising it, or demanding that immigrants adjust to "our way", we will all be better off if we just recognize this fundamental aspect of humanity and celebrate the diversity.

Also, I'd love to provide pictures of this event.  The problem is that someone (my wife) who will remain nameless (my wife) didn't charge the camera battery (my wife used it last) and it had no juice for the evening (because my wife didn't charge it).  We did bring our new iPod Touch, but the qualit of picture is pretty bad and we haven't attempted the download from the device yet.

Closing out our US Trip

The last week of our trip to the US was as busy as the first.

Tuesday and Wednesday we spent in Sedona.  My daughter was very excited to climb a mountain and was very disappointed when we did not climb to the top.  She always likes our trips to Sedona and this visit was no exception....though leading up to the trip she kept telling everyone she was going to Barcelona on Tuesday.  My son took advantage of our time in Sedona to begin walking unassisted.  This newly discovered mobility has him wreaking more havoc than ever before.

Thursday, I met my good friend Peter Faur for lunch (if you have not checked out his blog, you really should - great stuff).  Pete was helping me setup a meeting with Bob Begam to discuss becoming an author.  When that meeting didn't occur, Pete and I decided to just meet ourselves and had a great discussion.

Before and after our lunch, I spent my day running errands while my wife and kids spent time with my wife's sister who also has children just a few weeks separated from our own.  I shipped two boxes back to Jakarta.  The first one contained 120 pounds of food.  Shipping it to Jakarta increased the cost of the food by 50%....which still gave me a 50% savings over what it would cost to buy in Jakarta.  When the clerk asked me what I was shipping and I said "120 pounds of Jell-O", she laughed.  Then I showed her the receipt and she realized I was serious.  Well, it was actually more like 60 pounds of Jell-O, and 60 pounds of salsa, beans, cake mix, frosting (which you cannot find in Jakarta), peanut butter, baby food and cereal.  The other box was all the toys from our son's first birthday party.

Thursday night we toured the potential site for our new store and then met my sister and her new husband for dinner.

Friday we spent the morning tying up loose ends and returning things to our house in Phoenix that we did not want to bring back with us to Jakarta.  We left our hotel around 2:30 and dropped off the rental car and made our 5 PM flight.  Walking on the plane, I noticed that our CAO was on the same flight.  We spoke briefly and discovered he would be on all the same flights to Jakarta.  We were both flying Business Class, and I was worried my son would have a repeat performance of our trip to the US and keep the boss of my boss', boss', boss awake the whole time.

We had a two hour layover in Los Angeles and took advantage of the Business Class lounge to let our son practice his new, yet wobbly, walking skills.  We hoped it would fatigue him enough that he would sleep most of the flight.  Flying to the US, we had a stopover in Tokyo.  Returning to Jakarta, we were on the new Singapore Airlines all Business Class direct flight from Los Angeles to Singapore.  The plane is much smaller (it's not a 747), but the whole plane is Business Class - 39 rows of 1-2-1 seating.  On a normal flight, we would have been a few feet from my CAO.  Thanks to this new flight option, we were 20 rows back.  Our son slept most of the flight, so it wouldn't have been an issue, anyway, but I was glad to have the separation.

For those of you who asked, we were not affected by the erupting volcano.  It is on the same island as Jakarta, but quite far south.  The airport in the city nearest the volcano (which we visited in January) was still open - and remains open even today.  Volcanoes are regionally catastrophic, but the region is small.  For Mt. Merapi, the emergency zone is a 12 mile radius around the volcano.  See the A and B points in the below map.  The volcano is over 300 miles from us.  We are very safe.


View Larger Map

Major Announcements

As I mentioned in my previous post, our primary reason for visiting the US was for my sister's wedding.  However, I took advantage of the opportunity to attempt to make progress on some other initiatives I've been working since January.

Before I get into those "other initiatives", some perspective:

When I took the assignment in Indonesia, we were all in agreement that it would be a temporary, two year assignment, and I would return to my original job in Phoenix.  Then, things started to change.  The first big event was the economic crises that delayed my start in Indonesia by nearly three months.  As part of the economic downturn, I reduced my North American staff in New Orleans and Phoenix by half.  When I departed, instead of having one person fill my role overseeing both teams, my company assigned a manager to the New Orleans team and separate one to the Phoenix team.  I wondered which of the teams I would manage when I returned in two years.

This past January, we initiated another big event.  We outsourced a majority of our technical services to a consulting firm with a support center in India.  As part of that adjustment, we decided to close our New Orleans office.  However, we wanted to keep that manager, so we transferred him to Phoenix and split the Phoenix team in two, then added a few more resources.

It was at that point that I began to doubt there would be a job for me in Phoenix at the end of my two year assignment.  I had confidence I was adding value to the organization, so I was not concerned I would be cut loose.  I also knew that I needed to start driving my own destiny a little more, and I took some precautionary measures, that I'll discuss a little later.

After we returned from our trip to Europe, I began initiating talks with my boss about my transfer back.  He was noncommittal - which I expected.  A few months later, my boss came for a visit and I again broached the subject.  It went something like this:

ME:  Have you given any thought to what my role will be back in Phoenix?

BOSS:  We have discussed it a little.  Things have changed a lot and continue to change.  There is no telling what our organization will look like next April.  We like how things are working now, can you extend?

ME:  I don't think my wife would be amenable to that.  My core strength is solving problems.  We have a problem with (name of department), why don't we put me there for a while to fix that?  Or, I really like business analysis, I could lead that group.

BOSS:  I understand where you are coming from.  Can you extend?

At the end of the day, it came down to three choices:  1) We extend another year; 2) We move back to Phoenix and I spend 2 months of every quarter working in Jakarta; 3) We wait and see what possibly opened up by my transfer date (ie, maybe nothing).

We decided that the best thing for our family was to extend through June of 2012.

Back to my "other initiatives"....

Before we moved to Indonesia, my wife and I were discussing the possibility of opening a Kid to Kid franchise.  The timing wasn't right, and we opted to move to Indonesia instead, and planned to open a store when we returned.  When the events transpired in January, I could no longer wait.  I started seeking out a partner who I could trust to run the store in our absence.  I found a great partner that I have absolute faith in (I won't name them in this space because they have not yet informed their current employer).

In June, I paid our franchise fee and bought the rights to open a franchise in the East Valley.  We will be the first in the East Valley, the fifth in Phoenix, and number 85 internationally.  During our visit to Phoenix this past week, we viewed what we think, pending negotiations, will be our location.  It's just over 3,000sf of retail space in a strip mall anchored by a Sprouts grocery store and a Kohl's department store.  We plan to hold our grand opening in April.  I'm very excited.

The second thing I've done over the last year is complete three books.  No, not reading them.  I've written three books.  Two children's books (the text of which you've seen on this blog here and here), and a novel called "The Tribe" (the first chapter of which you'll find here).  Hemingway they are not, but I think they are all entertaining.  In the next few weeks, I'll be posting the first chapter of a few new manuscripts and, like before, giving you the opportunity to pick which one sounds the most interesting.

While we were in Phoenix, I attempted to meet with a local author who wrote a book I mentioned here.  If you have not yet read the book, I strongly recommend you do.  It's a great court-room thriller.  I was hoping he could give me some advice, at a minimum, contacts, at best, to help me down the path of getting published.  Unfortunately, our schedules never worked out for us to meet.  So, I'm back to square one with finding a publisher.  Many thanks to those of you whom have read "The Tribe" and provided feedback.  If there is anyone else interested, please just ask and I will forward you a pdf version.

The final initiative I've been pursuing this year is an online version of a game I invented a few years ago.  I initially sought out a manufacturer for the board game version, but found start-up costs prohibitive.  The online version, however, proved much less expensive.

The first step was obtaining a copyright granting me exclusive rights to the game.  I hired an attorney to assist with this step and I received confirmation of my ownership just a few months ago.  The second step was to define a licensing agreement for the electronic version of the game.  Again, I had a lawyer draft the document for me.  Through negotiations with a software development company in Indonesia, we came to a licensing agreement that worked for both of us.  They will develop and distribute the game at their own cost.  I will not charge them a licensing fee.  When the game starts to sell, we will split the revenue 50/50.  Worked for all sides.

I have spent the last few weeks testing first a prototype, and, now, a final draft of the game complete with updated graphics.  We are targeting a December release of the game for the iPod, iPhone and iPad platforms.  We will be pricing it at $1, so I fully expect every one of you with a compatible hardware device to purchase my game!  You can spare $1.  Oh, and tell your friends.  I want to sell 20,000 units in the first month so it rises to the top of the best seller's list.

The other thing I should note is that none of those enterprises will require me to quit what I am doing.  I'm thankful for that.  I like the company I work for and the people I work with.  At the same time, I've now hedged my financial security against potential future changes in my companies organization.

I guess my other enterprises can best be summed up this way:  "Don't quit your day job".

The Wedding

Now that we are all safely back in Jakarta, through the jetlag, and I am caught up at work, I have the opportunity to finish the details of our trip back to the US.

As most of you know, we flew back to Phoenix to attend and participate in my sister’s wedding. After several years of searching and sampling, my sister found the man for her. He’s a great guy, a mediocre fantasy football player, and a gentleman. We welcome him to the family with open arms.

We spent much of our trip to Phoenix visiting with family and friends who arrived solely for the wedding. My daughter (flower girl) and myself (reader) also participated in the ceremony, so we were busy with rehearsals and pictures and dress fittings (my daughter) throughout the first week.

The wedding was very well thought out and one of the more inclusive weddings I’ve ever been to. My mother performed the ceremony and several members of both the bride’s and groom’s families participated in the wedding. It was very obvious to me that this is a couple that has a tremendous support system to help keep their marriage successful through the years.

Unfortunately, my wife and son both missed the ceremony. My son decided that sitting on a chair in the hot October sun in Arizona watching people in funny clothes walk up an aisle was not his idea of fun. He pitched a screaming fit to end all screaming fits a few seconds into the ceremony and my wife had to vacate the premises or bear the wrath of glaring eyes. She was wise enough to return when the alcohol started flowing.

I received many compliments for my speech, and I thank everyone for the kind words. It was very important to me that my speech help make my sister’s wedding a memorable event, and I feel that it did. For those of you interested, here is what the speech ‘should’ have been, including the last minute edits I had to make based on the direction from my wife.

When Erica asked me to speak at her wedding, I was caught off guard. It was an unexpected honor and a little surprising. I probably shouldn’t have been – we have a very good relationship. But I was surprised because I have thirty years of stories I've been waiting to share with the right audience. When I remembered that, surprise became excitement.

Erica and I never really experienced what people call "sibling rivalry". Our relationship growing up was more like....sibling war. So when she gave me this platform, I sat at my computer and wrote and wrote and wrote. I tried to recapture every major moment, every key event I could think of over the last thirty years. It flowed from my memories like water from a tap. And it's all right here.

Once I had written it all down, I practiced. And I practiced. I performed my speech in front of a mirror. I called a meeting at work and made my staff and colleagues listen. I asked everyone for feedback. I wanted my speech to be perfect on her big day. And it is. It’s tremendous – funny, poignant, didactic, memorable.

Yesterday, I gave the speech to my wife for the first time. She sat silently and listened. When I was finished, she had that look that every married man has received at some point. I asked: “what’s wrong”.

She said “You know this is her wedding day, right?”

“Yes”.

“And that you are supposed to be nice?”

(Throw speech over shoulder.) So now I have to wing it.

I remember when Erica told me she was engaged to be married. I had one thought: FINALLY

She searched a long time to find someone who could live up to her high standards. For years, whenever she introduced us to the guy she was dating I felt like I was trapped in a Forrest Gump movie, I just never knew what I was going to get.

Then she met Jon. My family was preparing to move to Indonesia at the time so all I remember from the early days of their dating was how excited she was. She loved talking about him, and it showed. I remember how quickly she realized he was: The One. He was the man she had waded in hip boots through the dating cesspool to find. Jon was a man she could commit to.

And that’s a big deal, deciding on your spouse. There is no decision in one’s life more important than who you pick as a spouse. Not the college you go to, not the career you pursue, not even the moral code you choose to follow.

The relationships we have do more for our quality of life, our happiness, and our longevity than anything else. People with a strong support network are healthier, happier, and recover more quickly from serious illness. And no relationship - not with our friends, our siblings, or even our parents - is more important than the one with our spouse. To illustrate what I mean: if you’re a man, statistics show being married adds five years to our life....it may feel like fifteen, but it adds five.

So if marriage is so important, why is the divorce rate so high? If it has so much going for it, why are there affairs? We have people fighting for the opportunity to be married, yet we refer to our spouses as “the ball and chain”? I've even heard it said that while "I am" is the shortest sentence in the English language, "I do" is surely the longest.

If marriage is so important, if it increases our happiness and fosters longevity, why are so many people so down on it?

Because too many people misunderstand love. Too many people think love, is a noun. They think it is an emotion, something you can touch and feel and that, when pure, isn’t fleeting. They mistake love for that excitement you feel in your stomach when you are first attracted to someone. The sensation that feels like all the nervous butterflies are flying in alignment. That sensation isn’t love – it’s dopamine. It’s a hormone our bodies evolved so when we encounter an eligible mate we’re immediately interested. It fostered species continuation.

But that’s not love. Love is not a noun. Love is a verb. It's active. It's all the activities you do every day to show how much you care. It's sitting at the breakfast table on a Sunday morning sipping coffee and planning your week. It's the trips you endure to your in-laws for Thanksgiving when you'd rather be watching football or shopping at the Black Friday sales. It's all those passionate nights, and days, and mornings if you're willing to brave morning breath, where the world just dissolves away and you experience that unique connection.

That's what love is. It's actions. You don't feel love, you show it.

And that's important to remember because a year from now, the love goggles are gone. If you didn't already know this, let me be the first to tell you - the love goggles disappear in your first year, sometimes the second. And when they’re gone, all those quirky traits you currently find endearing…become…. annoying.

Erica, the whistling Jon's nose makes when he sleeps that today you find so cute because it allows you to see him as vulnerable - in a year, you'll be pulling out your hair and reaching for the ear plugs. You’ll have visions of pets and small children grasping the furniture to avoid being sucked into the enormous vacuum. You’ll think: “There must be something medically wrong with him. Normal people do not sound like that.”

Today, Jon may think that Erica's public belching habit is cool.  That it shows she's unafraid to flout traditional conventions and societal requirements of women.  In a year, when they take a cross country road trip and decide to break for dinner at truck stop, and she challenges a trucker to a belching contest, and proceeds to soundly beat him, he'll think it's embarrassing, not cool.  (NOTE:  This part was cut due to my wife's admonishment).

But that’s okay. That's how marriage works. That’s normal. But this is also when most marriages fall apart because the couple doesn’t know love is a verb. They don't remember that their marriage is the most important relationship of their life and they need to stay committed to it. They want every day to be fireworks like the fourth of July, and all of a sudden they wake up and it's July 5, and they don't know what to do.

And the truth is, the ones that decide to give up miss out on the best part of marriage. Because after the love goggles are gone, when you are no longer blinded by the initial rush of dopamine - that is when the true bonding happens. It’s during this phase that you will lay the foundation for the rest of your relationship. It's when you develop the lasting bond that forever binds you to each other.

Without the love goggles, you get to see each other for who you are, and you really begin to appreciate each other. Biologically, you start releasing different hormones – hormones associated with bonding; the same hormones a mother starts to produce after giving birth that encourage infant bonding - and, if you remember that love is a verb, the activities you share will reinforce your bond. You’ll begin to appreciate Jon for being a hard worker, a good painter of walls, and great with kids. You’ll begin to appreciate Erica for having an entrepreneurial spirit, for her bravery, and for possessing an analytical mind.

You’ll also start speaking your own language. You’ll have looks that only you two can interpret. You’ll develop your own terms, like referring to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day” as you laugh diabolically all the way to your favorite restaurant. You’ll be able to recognize those subtle changes in mood, and know if that mood requires you to provide space or assistance. It’s after the love goggles are gone that you truly feel fulfilled.

Those who hope the love goggles will permanently skew their vision should reflect upon the wisdom of Mark Twain who once said: "Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century." I believe him. Because when the honeymoon is over, that's when the real love begins.

Now I'm not saying this will be easy - most things worth having are not easy to attain. Your experiences in the dating pool taught you that lesson. Luckily, you’re not alone. You have us. Everyone here today, by the simple action of attending your wedding, by being here to witness you profess a lifetime commitment to this relationship, everyone here is now on the hook to help. All of us, for as long as we are in your lives, have an obligation to remind you that love is a verb. That you show love by your actions, through your commitment, and that the best is always yet to come.

You have that promise from me. I’m on the hook...because I am not going to be your dating pool lifeguard again.

And because I am committed to ensuring your relationship stands the test of time, I am going to share with you a story that was told to me shortly before my own marriage. I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

While we were planning our wedding, I worked at a small financial services company here in Phoenix. I worked with an older gentleman named Ruben. Ruben was nearing retirement and had been married to his wife for over forty years. I asked him if he had any advice for me, the soon-to-be-married. He said "no". Undeterred, I asked him how he had stayed married for so long. He said: "we never fought". I said I didn't believe him, and he shared this story with me:

His wife is from the Midwest. Grew up on a farm in Nebraska. He spent his whole life here in Arizona. They met when she moved here for work. When they married, they decided the perfect honeymoon would be at the Grand Canyon – close, affordable, and she had never been.

On their second day, they took a mule ride to the bottom of the canyon. When the trip had just begun, his wife's mule spooked and tried to run down the trail. They nearly fell in. His wife, tough as nails and the bravest woman he’d ever met, remained calm, gained control of the mule and leaned over and whispered in the mule's ear 'That's one'. About halfway down, her mule took issue with the mule behind her getting too close, and kicked at it, nearly bucking his wife from her saddle. Again, she remained calm, controlled the mule, and gently whispered 'That's two'. When they finally reached the canyon floor and started to unload their packs, her mule started bucking again and her gear flew everywhere. Calmly, she walked over to the guide's mule, pulled out the pistol he carried on the hikes for defense against cougars and rattlesnakes, and she shot the mule dead saying: 'That's three'.

Well, he couldn't believe what he had just seen. The guide is throwing a fit, the group is in chaos. He walks over to his new bride and demands "why did you do that? It was just a dumb animal. It didn't know any better."

She looked at him and said "that's one".

He says: “After that, we never really fought.”

Best of luck to the new couple.

Very busy week

Last week was about as busy as they come.  With only two weeks to visit everyone - friends and family - we've been moving non-stop.

Sunday was our son's birthday party.  It was great to see everyone and he had a blast opening all his presents.  Monday I went golfing with friends and my back hasn't been the same since.  Tuesday was a medical day.  We saw the dentist and took the kids to the doctor for their immunizations.  Wednesday we went to the zoo with family and I had lunch with a friend.  We went shopping Wednesday night and bought 120 pounds worth of food to ship back to Jakarta.  Thursday my father and step-mother arrived and spent time with us at our hotel.  In the evening we took my two nieces to the Coyotes game in the evening.  Friday we had lunch with my father and then had the rehearsal dinner.  Saturday was the wedding.  Sunday was an after-wedding brunch and then a family gathering with my wife's family.

Today was my first day off.  My wife went to a yoga class with her cousin in the morning, then her and the kids spent time at her sister's visiting while I ran a bunch of errands in preparation for opening our business in March.  I also had dinner with an old friend.

Tomorrow we are going to Sedona for two days.  Thursday I have another lunch scheduled and then a visit to a potential site for our new business.  Friday we return to Jakarta.

Whirlwind, not a vacation.  I'm not sure what a real vacation is anymore.

Back in the US

For the first time in eighteen months, my family and I are back on U.S. soil.  This is our son's first trip to the United States.

Our day started at 3:30 AM in Jakarta.  Our travels took us from Jakarta, to Singapore, to Tokyo, to Los Angeles and, finally, to Phoenix.  Five cities, four security checks, three planes, two children, and zero sleep.  My son is not a good flier.  He doesn't sleep well, he shrieks like a bored parrot and he needs to be in constant motion.  His favorite activity on the flight?  Climbing the stairs.  On the plus side, all of the flight attendants lavish him with attention, which means we're well taken care of.  I'm leaning towards the reimplementation of my rule about not flying with kids under two.  It's brutal.

Our flights were mostly uneventful.  Turbulence on the Tokyo to Los Angeles leg, delays from LAX to PHX.  My mom, her fiance, my grandmother, my sister, and my sister's fiance met us at the airport.  This was the first time my mom and grandmother were able to meet our son.  He did not disappoint.

We went directly from the airport to the rental car company, and from the rental car company directly to Chipotle.  We intentionally skipped breakfast on the flight to LAX so we would be hungry enough to finish our Chipotle meals.  After dinner, we crashed.

My son has decided he wants to be on Jakarta time even though we are in Phoenix.  We all went to bed at 9 PM, he woke up at 2 AM.  I woke up with him.  Finally went back to bed at 5 AM.  The only meal I had for the day was a Chipotle Steak Fajita Burrito in the late afternoon.  Two meals, two Chipotle visits.

It's now 5 AM Sunday.  My son is just now going back to bed after waking me up at 1 AM.  I am NOT going to miss my full day of NFL football.  Not going to happen.  I may just have to start drinking coffee.

Oh, and my son's first birthday party is this afternoon.  I should probably be awake for that.  After the last two nights, he should be happy he is able to celebrate it!

Live life, then do some work.

One of my philosophies is to never stop learning.  Whether it is acquiring a new skill, learning a new activity, or just plain old acquiring knowledge, I try to do it every day.  I spend an enormous amount of time in traffic.  Reading has become my most expedient and convenient route to knowledge attainment.  I find that fiction provides inspiration and non-fiction provides perspective.

I've recently been working my way through a new book (well, new to me).  I first became aware of it in an email exchange I had with a former (younger) colleague/employee.  I was, at the time, seeking a partner to develop an online version of the game I invented, and knew he had started his own technology company.  His response back was surprising.  It went something like:

"I just got back from my summer home in Wisconsin, so I'm in Phoenix again.  We're not taking on new business or projects, though I'm happy to give you advice if you want it.  I am only in the office a few hours a week - like the 'Four Hour Work Week' - so we can meet for lunch on Tuesday."

I could not believe he 1) had his own business; 2) had a summer home; 3) only worked a few hours a week.  I felt disbelief before envy.

I finally started the book he was referring too.  It's an extremely interesting take on simplifying your life and is worth the read for anyone who feels too busy, but is especially good for people who do, or want to, operate their own businesses.

If you have not read this book, you should.  Whether you are a stay-at-home parent or an 80-hour per week corporate riser, I think you'll find excellent ideas on how to simplify your life and spend more time doing what you want to do.

I'm personally quite interested in hiring my own virtual assistant to tackle some tasks I've been putting off for quite a long time (for example, researching the best high-energy, low calorie diet for someone who cannot eat chicken or fish).

Thirty-Five is the new Fifty

Thursday, 30 September, 2010 is a day I'm sure I will never forget. It is the day I first felt old.

Admittedly, I noticed the slow decline long before. At twenty-five, I became painfully aware that all-nighters could no longer be in my repertoire. In my late twenties, I had to acquire my first orthotics. At thirty, copious alcohol consumption started having a larger affect.

Although I knew all of those were normal, and accepted them as just part of the aging process, I never felt...old.

Until Thursday.

Thursday is the night I play rugby; "Touch", is the more recognized, and accurate, term. It's an opportunity for me to relive those carefree days on the playground and get some exercise in the process - something a sedentary technology professional never gets enough of.

This Thursday was different. And not a good different. A bad different.

The night started badly. We had an average crowd of twelve players, six per side, but most of the regulars had not shown up. We had nine new people. Someone had the bright idea to split up into youth versus wisdom. For the first time in my life, I was on the wisdom team. Ouch!

Things went downhill from there. As the fastest member on the "wisdom" team, I played winger. That puts me on the outside of the formation and my job is to outrun to the outside, or find a quick slant through the inside and run for the score. After a few possession changes, they toss me the ball and I make my run to the outside. Because of all the rain we've had lately, the artificial turf was still wet. When I made a cut to the inside, I slipped and fell to the ground. I felt every bone in my body rattle like carrots in jello. It was like a visit to the chiropractor, only instead of cracking just a few vertebrae, every bone in my body readjusted. It didn't hurt, but it sure made me re-examine my style of play so I didn't repeat the feeling.

The last reminder of my new age bracket occurred before our final break. My team didn't adjust on defense and I was stuck defending a two-on-one situation on the left side of the line. Our opponents exploited it, and the outside player got past me with the ball. This meant I had to take off after him.

In my younger years, this would be no big deal. I once chased down my dog running at a full sprint (granted, he was a terrier, but that's still pretty fast!). This night, it was not to be. I gave chase and found he was traveling at the same speed I was, but I was jogging. I pushed for my second gear - my sprint - but my body had other ideas. On my third stride, my hamstring had enough. I had gained two steps, but he was still one step out of reach, and I had to jog behind him to the end zone. That was also my last play for the night or I would not be walking the next day.

Thirty-five.

I guess it's the new fifty.