Christmas

It’s difficult to make Christmas feel like Christmas in Jakarta. I imagine people who grew up in Hawaii wouldn’t notice a difference, but for those of us who grew up in the Midwest, or even in Arizona, Christmas here is very different. The malls still decorate with big trees, have carolers singing, and some even have snow fall from the ceiling, but the city doesn’t feel Christmas like cities do in the US. That doesn’t stop us from trying, though.

This year, Santa decided to introduce our family to his “Elf on a Shelf” program. With this program, he assigns an elf to each child in the family (except the babies) and the elf watches them all day and reports back to him each night. The elf arrives while you are sleeping, finds an observation point for the day, and changes location each day. You are required to name your elf, and you may talk to him or her, but touching is absolutely forbidden and could result in the forfeiture of all of your presents. It is important the elf does not see you misbehaving and deliver a bad report. And they move every day because half the fun is trying to find their new hiding spot!

Our kids must have been really good because Santa brought some cool new toys. The toy kitchen I’m sure required several hours of hard work with inferior tools and misleading directions to assemble. I’m not sure Santa was thinking of the parents when he gave our toddler a toy drum, but it has turned out okay nonetheless. Gifts from family were overwhelming for everyone, but, thankfully, they all arrived on time (at least from those who sent them on time).

We continued our tradition of hot chocolate and cinnamon toast for breakfast, and the kids enjoyed playing with their new toys all morning….then got bored with them, as they are wont to do. Mom and dad got cool gifts, too. I got a pogo stick and enough books to keep me occupied through February (finished half already), and my wife received I Love Lucy DVDs and the electronics I mentioned in our Singapore post. Santa had a few choice consumables for us in our stockings, too, but our kids ended up eating most of them.

The hardest part about Christmas in Jakarta is being away from the rituals, the culture, and the company of family. Exchanging gifts via DHL is not the same as playing the Gift Trade game where we steal and exchange gifts in a free-for-all fight of luck, timing and team strategy….ahhh, good times. Saying thank-you in person is always better than sending a note….requires less effort! And I hate not being able to veg-out in front of the TV watching football. Holidays are just not the same without watching grown men maul each other in the hopes of holding up a trophy at the end of the year.

But mankind is nothing if not adaptable, and we adapted to Christmas in Jakarta….so long as there isn’t another one.

 

 

 

A 2nd Birthday

Our son turned two this month and we celebrated in typical Indonesian style - with a huge party!  The kids always love the Gymboree party, so we invited everyone from his class, scheduled the Gymboree and let them take it from there.  As I said in a prior post, he's very excited about trains these days, so the cake fit the occasion.  I've never seen a kid so happy than when I brought out his cake.  It's good he was tethered to his chair.

 

 

 

 

 

Just When I Thought There Were No More Stories To Tell

The month is two-thirds over and this is just my second post.  We had visitors all last week and I've been spending every available moment (riding in the car, after the kids are asleep, lunch hour) devouring the Game of Thrones books, as well as planning for our son's 2nd birthday and two Halloween parties, but I can't truly claim those as the reasons for my silence.  In fact, I'll have posts about those events soon - hopefully this weekend.

I haven't posted because we're in a routine.  A good routine.  And routine isn't exciting.  Until something disrupts it....like this week.  Here are four delightful insights into life in Jakarta:

1)  I owe what!?  My electric bill this month was the equivalent of $750 US.  My first reaction was "BullSh--".  No way.  Every month up to this point had been $200-$300.  I demanded an explanation from the electric company and from my landlord.  The landlord's person is coming tomorow, but I'm pretty sure I already have my answer.  The electric company informed us that they outsource the meter reading to another company.  That company did layoffs which included the person who reads my meter.  So they haven't read it.  They've been "estimating" for the last six months.  They finally read my meter.  Next month I apparently will owe nearly $1,500!  All because no one bothered to read my meter for six months and now they need to do a true-up. 

2)  What is my alternative?  When our guests were visiting, the toilet in the master bathroom began leaking water from beneath the floor when we flushed.  Never a good sign; especially when this is a repeat of something that happened a few months ago.  Called the landlord, who sent out a plumber.  He proceeds to disassemble the toilet, rip up the floor, and clean the pipe feeding....well, whatever it feeds.  Three days later, we're good to go.  Then I get an email from the landlord.  The plumber informed them that the pipe was clogged with toilet paper.  The landlord advised that we should not be flushing toilet paper down the toilet.

3)  This explains a lot.  A few weeks ago, when we returned from the US with our new son, we needed to complete the immigration paperwork for him.  Standard procedure we've done several times.  With the other two kids in school, we needed to find a time that was convenient.  Luckily, immigration opens at 9 AM.  Plenty of time to drop both kids off at school, travel to immigration, get the pictures taken and paperwork completed, and be back in time to pick up our two-year-old from his half-day pre-school.  That is, if they would actually take a 9 AM appointment.  We were dutifully informed that the earliest time we could schedule an appointment is at 10 AM because from 9 - 10 everyone in immigration likes to drink their coffee and read the paper.  At least they're honest.

4)  You mean, it isn't just the government?  We're having a Halloween party.  That means we need costumes.  Halloween is a very American holiday so I was surprised to find a costume store in Jakarta.  We took the forty minute car ride to the mall, found the store, selected the costume we wanted to try from the brochure and were told we had to wait.  Huh?  Everyone was eating lunch.  They would help us when they were done with their lunch.

5)  Shouldn't I get to decide that?  Tomorrow night my wife and I are going to the Latin Ball.  We had such a good time last year, we've been looking forward to this year's for several months.  I bought a fitted tuxedo, specially tailored for me, and my wife went in search of a fabulous dress.  That's right, my wife, less than three months removed from giving birth to our third child went out looking for a sexy dress.  Bold, brave....and a bit humbling.  She stopped in a store today, selected a dress, and brought it to the sales clerk and asked to try it on.  Sales clerk looked at her and said:  "No.  That dress is a medium.  You need an extra large.  It won't fit you.  You can't try it on."  Wow!  Amazingly, my wife not only didn't slap the woman, she laughed about it and left.  She did eventually find a dress somewhere else and I can't wait to see her in it.

Man I miss home.

What's a Father to Do?

I'm not a feminist.  Far from it.  I'm more likely to file a petition to cancel Title IX or picket the offices of the NOW than I am to lend my voice to support them.  However, I'm also the son, brother, cousin, nephew, grandson, colleague, and friend of remarkable women who make tremendous contributions to their craft, their families, and their communities.  I can't imagine what a world would be like if they did not have their opportunities to shine.

And that's one of the things that makes life here a challenge.  Women are second class citizens, and my daughter sees it. Now, I won't lie and say that, as a man, being in a patriarchal society doesn't have its advantages.  It does.  But I also have concerns.  To wit:

1)  After our first year, when we were discussing school with our daughter, we said she would attend elementary school, then middle school, then high school, then college and then she'd find a job.  She replied:  "Women don't work!"  We laughed and said "from the mouths of babes", but also took note.  Both in Arizona and in Jakarta, all of her friends had stay-at-home moms.  Nothing wrong with that, obviously, because we've chosen to do that.  But it was an interesting perspective.

2)  Last week, my daughter started taking the bus to school.  I told her to enjoy it while she could because when we return to Arizona, she'll be walking to school.  She replied:  "I don't have to go to school in Arizona."  I said:  "It's the law.  If I don't send you to school, they come and throw me in jail.  And if I am not going to work because I'm in jail, who will earn money so we can eat?"  Her reply?  "When I'm old enough, my husband will work and he can pay!"  I'd like to blame the Disney Princesses, but it's not them.  It's what she sees.

So, what's a father to do?  In a world where all my daughter sees are women who are stay-at-home moms, nannies, maids, or teachers, how can I convince her she has other options for which she must prepare?

It Isn't Worth The Hassle

Spoiled.  Privileged.  Lucky.  Plush.  Opulent.  Our friends and family in the U.S. have used each of these words to describe our domestic staff situation, and understandably so.  It is uncommon in the Western world to have a maid and a nanny with the frequency with which we have them here.  Having lived both ways, I prefer not having them.
After our most recent nanny challenges, we've decided to, at least for now, pare down our staff to one maid and one nanny.  Having more help just isn't worth the hassle.  After our last nanny quit, we initially hired the wife of my driver, on a two week trial (for her and for us), but she lasted less than a week.  The childcare for her children fell through so she could no longer work for us.  A week later she tries to return and dictate her schedule and her salary - I told her we'd pass.

I then had the bright idea that I would take a portion of the salary we were paying our second nanny, and share with the maid and nanny we were keeping, and ask them to make minor modifications to their hours.  I was trying to accomplish two objectives:  early morning help readying the kids for school, and an end to paying overtime.  By adjusting hours and increasing salary accordingly, I believed I was being fair.

Our staff took it as an opportunity to renegotiate.  Every other Saturday off.  An additional premium for coming in at 6 AM instead of 7 AM.  I understand the right to negotiate with your employer - I've done it myself.  But when I'm already paying my staff more than other expats, and we expect less of them than other families because we don't like having them in the first place, I was very turned off by the whole process and really just want to fire everyone and start over.

In the end, we settled for just leaving things as they are.  They get no more pay, we'll continue managing mornings on our own and remembering to have cash to pay for overtime.

For those of you thinking:  "Why not just get rid of the help?"  Two reasons:

1)  We hired a maid because we were told we had to or people would rob us.  If we don't hire local help, locals think we're being greedy and not sharing our good fortune.
2)  We hired a nanny because we discovered very quickly a "playdate" was nannies getting together with the kids, not mommies.  My wife felt awkward (and rightfully so) being the only mom at a playdate full of nannies.

So, now we have undesired drama thrust into our lives.

How would you handle it?

Back in Jakarta

Though contrary to our original plan, I am back in Jakarta without my family, who remain in Singapore.  The reason for my early return is a family emergency has compelled us to return to Arizona for a few weeks.  We'll be leaving next Wednesday and I needed both to put in some time at the office as well as retrieve a few items from our home in Jakarta for our trip to the U.S.

I arrived late Wednesday night and spent Thursday and Friday in the office.  Friday's weather provided an annoying reminder of the challenges of living in Jakarta.  Heavy rain fell shortly after 3 PM.  My planned schedule for Friday evening was:

4 PM - Leave work
5:30 PM - Yoga at my house
7 PM - Leave for a dinner with a friend
8 PM - Arrive for dinner

The rain, and a bazaar in North Kemang, changed my schedule to:

3:50 PM - Leave work
5 PM - inform yoga instructor I would be late
5:30 PM - inform yoga instructor I needed to reschedule
6:30 PM - decide I won't make it home and should just go to dinner
6:45 PM - Traffic finally clears so I go home
7:00 PM - arrive home (that's right, 3 hours to drive what normally requires 45 minutes)
7:15 PM - leave for dinner
8 PM - arrive for dinner

Indonesia must do something about their infrastructure if they ever expect to be a developed nation.  Without a good highway system, everything else they are working for will be irrelevant.

A Lazy Day to End a Busy Week

It's Sunday today.  Father's Day, to be precise.  And, due to my unfortunate travel schedule, I am spending it alone - though I did just have a wonderful Skype conversation with the family in Singapore.  In four days I'll be transitioning myself to Singapore and won't return to Jakarta until after our new son is born.  I'm spending today as lazily as I can.

It was a rough week, and a full week.  I'm an insomniac, by nature, and when external events disrupt my sleep routine, I'm not able to defeat my insomniac tendencies.  This meant a week of sleeping just five hours per night.  I probably would have been okay were it not for the first night alone:  Sunday. 

With the family in Singapore, I leave my computer on and open all night in case my wife goes into labor and needs to contact me.  At 2 AM, I woke from a dead sleep to the sound of someone (or something) typing on my keyboard.  Naturally, all the early talk of ghosts living in my house shot through my mind in the few seconds I was regaining consciousness.  By the time I had adjusted my mind to where I was and why it was dark and why I was surrounded by a thin white net (the mosquito netting), my heart was pounding and adrenaline was surging through my body.

My vision is bad in daylight without glasses.  Throw in a dark room with odd shadows and it is even worse.  Even so, I could see there was no person or apparition sitting at my computer making use of the internet.  It wasn't until I heard the familiar sound of quickly scurrying feet and the distinct, squeaky call that I realized one of our ubiquitous tiny house lizards had just run across the keyboard of my laptop.  Of course I was then up for another ninety minutes.

I went through my week as a zombie drinking more coffee during the week than I had in my prior 36 years of life.  Literally.  Futsal on Tuesday was tough, but far better than the prior week when only three of us showed up.  Yoga on Wednesday knocked me flat.  My legs just didn't have enough energy to hold most of the poses.  I fell down three times. 

Thursday, due to peer pressure, I participated in the only event I'll be around for in this year's company Olympics:  Futsal.  I was hoping to participate in Futsal, Golf and Bowling, but when I saw my schedule in Jakarta would only permit me to participate in the first Futsal event, I was planning to just skip the olympics this year (like all the other expats).  My team insisted they needed me, however, so I played.  It didn't help.  The other team cleaned the floor with us 6-1.

I closed out my week celebrating a big event with a friend.  He has just accepted the job as head of the Wealth Management group for a large Indonesian bank.  Pretty big deal.  And if anyone is interested, he's highly recommending you get out of anything that is US currency and move it to Singapore or Indonesia until the market settles from the major shock that will hit at the end of June when the Fed stops buying US Treasury.

We celebrated his new success at a local Jakarta club....which meant we left the house at 11PM and arrived home after 3 AM.  Of course, now that my body is accustomed to 5 hours of sleep, I was up at 8:30 this morning.  Here's hoping I'll get a nice nap later today!

We Found Bagels

A prominent complaint of my wife's, ever since we moved to Jakarta, is the absence of bagels.  Even Starbucks doesn't have bagels.  Of course, the local restaurants, even the chain restaurants doing business locally, cater to local tastes.  It's good business.  And Indonesians don't seem to have an affinity for eating bread for breakfast.

An associate of mine recently became a partner in a Jakartan bagel business called Bagel Bagel.  The week they opened, I purchased enough bagels for everyone on my staff to try one.  That is when the comedy began.

I watched as many of them took their first bites.  The look of sheer confusion on their faces as they bit into the bagel expecting the taste of donut and tasting, well, something much different than a donut, was absolutely priceless.  I offered up the cream cheese, in two flavors, and watched with amusement as the bagel beginners spread the cheese on top like frosting on a cupcake.  It was then I felt it appropriate to explain the finer points of bagel consumption:  cut it in half, spread the cheese on the inside, and either eat it like a sandwich or like toast.

Then the questions began:  "Is it supposed to be hard on the outside and soft on the inside?"  Yes, it is.  "Do Americans really eat this for breakfast?"  Yes, we do.  "Why isn't it sweet?"  It isn't supposed to be; it's healthier that way.  One said to me:  "This will take me an hour to eat.  It's very heavy."

I thought the bagels were delicious and ate four of them, over-consumption counterbalancing the healthiness of bagels compared to donuts.  The owners were smart to put the bagel shop in an expat community and offer free delivery in the Kemang area.  Expats will eat this stuff up!  I hope Indonesians will also begin to appreciate bagels.  I don't think they'll ever get past the requirement of rice being part of anything considered a meal.  Much like pizza, I think bagels will eventually become one of Indonesian's favorite snacks.

Already Finished

In Alaska, where men outnumber women by 14%, they have a saying for women looking for love: "The odds are good....but the goods are odd." In college I learned that Salt Lake City, Utah and Las Vegas, Nevada, are at the opposite ends of the spectrum (first and worst) for several key health statistics - alcoholism, longevity, cancer incidence, nicotine use. Living in SE Asia, I've learned a saying about Jakarta and Singapore I find very appropriate: "In Jakarta, you can do anything you want, but nothing works. In Singapore, everything works, but you can't do anything."

From rolling blackouts, to pest extermination that seems to attract bugs more than it repels them. From sporadic internet access to doctors who know less about medicine than the average Westerner. It seems there is always something wrong in Indonesia. A few of the more annoying/humorous:

1) We can never buy new shoes. I read a human interest story a few years back about a high school kid who was so large there were no commercially available cleats for him. He was playing defensive lineman, and performing quite well, in traditional cross-trainers because not only could he not buy cleats in a store, no one would custom make shoes for him. At the time, I sympathized with him. Now I can empathize with him. Shoe stores in Jakarta never have my size! One time, I selected a shoe, asked for size 10 1/2 and the guy brought me back a size 8. Because surely, in the time between me asking for a 10 1/2 and the time he came back with a size 8, my toes fell off and I no longer needed the extra 2 inches. Last week, I wanted to buy new shoes for soccer. I selected 7 different styles to try on. They didn't have my size in any of them. And don't get me started on what they have available in jeans.

2) Restaurants run out of food. This has happened so many times you eventually get used to it. On one of my first trips to Jakarta, before we were even considering moving here, I ordered spaghetti at a restaurant. They brought the food for my friend before telling us they were out of what I had ordered. I thought that was odd. It doesn't come close to some of our experiences after moving here. Three weeks ago, I did not have a breakfast to bring to work. I tried to tough it out until lunch, but at 9 AM I had to eat something. I went downstairs to the donut shop to buy a 'tide-me-over' donut. They were completely out! They didn't even have the day-old variety. From the looks of things, they hadn't had donuts all morning, and they open at 7 AM. This week, my wife went to a juice shop a few minutes after they opened and asked for a drink with blended celery. They replied "Cannot, already finished." They had just opened and did not have one of the main ingredients for the majority of their drinks! Were they going to turn people away all day? Why would they even bother to open? Baffling. I fully expect that some day I will walk into a grocery store only to discover all of their shelves are empty....and they'll still have four cashiers, three shopping cart attendants, and twelve stockers on duty.  (They are already routinely out of stock of basic things we buy like diapers and cilantro).

3) Credit cards. I have a good relationship with my American Express card. It never rejects me. It gives me points I use to buy presents. In return, I use it a lot. Anywhere I see the American Express card sign, I use my card. At two different stores - one for clothes, one for booze - I saw the AMEX symbol at the cashier counter and on one of the credit card machines. I hand my card to the cashier. At the clothing store, the cashier smiled and replied: "Cannot. Visa only." I point to the symbol on her cash register, and on the credit card machine. She smiles and repeats: "Visa only." The booze store was worse. Their reply: "Cash only." I point out the fact that, in addition to the AMEX card, they also advertise they accept Visa, MasterCard, DinersClub and cards from two local banks. "Cash only."

Despite the frustration, you have to love Jakarta. Where else in the world will you see a construction worker standing in the middle of the cement he's mixing while one coworker sleeps in the branches of a nearby tree and another urinates into the open trench with the live electrical wire? It would all be so comical if it weren't so true.

And, really, it's these idiosyncrasies that give Jakarta its charm. It's the ability to complain about what doesn't work that binds the expat community together. And isn't that the best way to make enduring friendships; by sharing in each other's misery?

A busy week with the family

Just a few pictures from our busy week:  the kids learn to use new modes of transportation (sometimes looking ridiculous in the process), the malls put new sculptures on display, a pizza-themed birthday party, and Disney on Ice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jakarta Neighborhoods

One of the more interesting aspects of life in Jakarta is how closely poverty lives among wealth.  They coexist, not just on the same city, or the same neighborhood, but on the same plots of land.

A few weeks ago, wanting to better explore our new neighborhood, I went for a jog.  Instead of turning right out of my driveway and taking the streets with which I was familiar, I turned left, and took a trail used by pedestrians and bikes.  Probably not the wisest decision from a security standpoint, but I did it nonetheless.  A few days later, while my wife slept in on her one day per week to do so, I took the kids with me and we walked the same route.  I tasked our daughter with taking pictures along the way.

Here is a taste of how many Jakartans live.

 

 

 

Milestone Week

The past eight days have been so full of milestones you would think it had been a year.

This week marks the end of our original two year assignment.  We've officially been in Indonesia for two years now.  It's amazing how quickly it has truly flown by.  It's almost starting to feel like home.  I mean, I even did yard work last week...though my staff laughed at my unique method for removing coconuts from our palm trees.  (I used the pole for the pool vacuum....our gardener, once he heard what I did, decided to climb the tree and remove them the more traditional way).  Today I even added weather stripping to some of the doors in an attempt to keep the mosquitoes outside without calling the handyman provided to us.  We also have decided that Sundays will be "a day without staff".  No drivers, nannies or maids came today.

As big as those events are, they pale in comparison to our kids' milestones.

I'll start with our son.  Last week, my son decided to scare us all by falling in the pool and spending a few petrifying seconds floating face down before I could grab him and lift him out.  This week, he has made up for it by jumping from the pool wall and kicking his little legs to swim to us.  Not quite buoyant yet but he sure is trying. 

The bigger event happened today.  He no longer sleeps in a crib.  We have converted his crib to the toddler bed so he can crawl in and out when he is ready.  Climbing in, once we gave him a step stool, was easy.  Climbing out proved a little more challenging, until I showed him how.  Then, in a flashback to my youth, he insisted on practicing the technique dozens of times, wanting praise from us each time he did it, until he had it mastered.  He is less than eighteen months old.

The honor for the biggest milestone of all, however, goes to our four year-old daughter.  Yesterday, for the first time, after having a bike for just since Christmas, she tried to ride her bike without the training wheels.  She was very apprehensive initially, so after five unsuccessful tries - all without falling, but all without really trying - I stopped it and we went swimming.  While we were swimming, I reminded her of all the things she does today that she couldn't before - swimming, ice skating, cutting with scissors, walking.  I told her the only thing preventing her from riding the bike was she didn't believe it possible.  As long as she believed she could do it, she would.

After swimming, she wanted to try again.  First try, she pulls it off.  Today (Sunday), she progressed from riding unassisted, to stopping unassisted, to starting unassisted and even made turns.  I think by the end of the week she'll be riding in loops and will have the biggest opportunity for freedom a person has until they get their first car.  Bikes open a whole new world for kids.

I have video I'll be posting later in the week.  For now, the pictures will have to suffice.

My wife and I recounted the major development milestones our daughter achieved during her 5th year (age 4).  They are pretty remarkable:

1)  Bike with training wheels.
2)  Bike without training wheels
3)  Stopped sucking her thumb
4)  Sleeps without her security blanket
5)  Started doing math (simple addition, she's not Rain Man)
6)  Wrote her first words
7)  Read her first words (she can almost read "Green Eggs and Ham")
8)  Uses a toilet without assistance

Just the way you like it

One of the benefits of living in Jakarta is the ability to custom order just about anything because, as long as the materials are local, both the labor and materials are extremely inexpensive.  Though we have yet to purchase the two pieces of furniture we planned on buying before we even moved here -  a dining room table and an armoire - we have taken advantage of our ability to have items custom made.

For Christmas last year, I brought a tailor a pair of dress slacks I really like, selected three fabrics, and, a week later, I had three more pairs of pants in the exact style.  Lately, we've become more creative.

First was a custom crib.  We didn't plan on having a third child (initially) after our son was born, so we sold or gave away most of the infant needs - including the temporary crib we purchased.  With a new child on the way, we needed a new one.  This time, we decided we wanted something that could be a family heirloom.  Below is the result.  The writing on the side reads "Sweet Dreams", in Indonesian.

The second happened when our maid damaged one of my dress shirts.  Just one tiny spot of over-bleaching, right over the heart, and I could no longer consider it a shirt for work.  It was still in great condition, and I didn't want to part with it.  Instead, we hired a tailor to turn it into a conductor's outfit for our son.

Finally, with my lack of flexibility and twenty extra pounds, I find it hard to sit down on the marble floors to play with the kids.  I much prefer the more active activities we do outside.  Alas, my daughter always wants to play with the doll house.  I had two choices - wait until my flexibility and joints could accommodate being on the floor, or find a way to bring the floor to me.  I opted for the latter.  I had an idea about a table that would grow with the kids.  With help from my Austrian visitor in January (an engineer by trade), I designed a table that expands both horizontally and vertically.  It's meant to be a standing table both today and when they are in high school.  The top itself has an additional leaf to add to the center and the legs are telescopic.  Pretty cool!  Now that we have it, there are a few design changes I would make (like, not allowing the legs to come completely out - makes standing it up a challenge, and wheels that lock).  Overall, I like it.

 

Off to the races

I've always wanted to have a large house.  Big house, big yard.  The below video demonstrates the benefits of a large house.

Baby Beluga

The new dancing phenomenon.

 

We've Gone Hollywood?

I've been playing rugby (touch) now for over a year on Thursday nights.  I know all the guys, generally, but none of them very well.  Their lifestyle of hard partying and travelling rugby tournaments doesn't exactly align well with mine.  Apparently I need to pay better attention when I talk to them about their lives in Indonesia.

All of the guys I play with are expats.  The overwhelming majority are from Australia or New Zealand, many with the respective embassies.  There are a few Britons, another American and a few Canadians.  One of the Canadians, I thought, worked as a cameraman for local TV.  When we first met, that's what I took away from our conversation - that his parents spent a lot of time in Indonesia, he decided to stay, and he found employment in the TV industry behind the camera.

Apparently, he said IN FRONT of the camera.

When we had our house warming party, I wore my "Damn, I Love Indonesia" t-shirt.  One of my friends commented that the owner of the brand was a local celebrity.  When I wore the same shirt to rugby one night, the guy I thought was a camera man told me his friend owned the shop.  I didn't think much of it at the time.

At last week's rugby, I asked him:  "You said you were friends with the owner of the 'Damn, I Love Indonesia' shop, right?"

"Yes", he replied, "Vijay."

"Isn't he famous?", I asked.

"Famous?  No more so than I am.  We're on the same TV show", he replied.

Turns out, I've been playing rugby with a local celebrity.  He's been on the cover of the Indonesian version of People, his wedding was in all the headlines, they sold their wedding pictures to raise money for charity, and the birth of their baby was as big a deal as Suri Cruise.  I asked a few people on my staff if they'd ever heard of him, and all of the women fawned.  Apparently he was a fashion model who then starred in TV and movies.  All the women I work with want to meet him.  My wife says I have a man crush.

I've known a celebrity for over a year and had no idea (he has his own wikipedia page).  I guess I'm out of touch.

Maybe he can endorse my game for the iPhone?

Traffic Frustration

This event took place several weeks ago and I keep forgetting to recount it here.

Presumably in an attempt to alleviate traffic (versus line the pockets of a supporter), a major road construction project is underway near the neighborhood where we live.  The goal is to build an elevated new road over the existing road and make them both one-way (in opposite directions).  The net effect, for now, is increased congestion on the other roads.

Two weeks ago, as we were leaving for dinner with friends, we learned another effect of the construction is detours through our neighborhood.  We sat unmoving for fifteen minutes, surrounded by motorcycles on all sides, less than one hundred meters from our house. 

For a clear picture of the situation it's important to know the main road through my neighborhood is barely two cars wide (we have to pull in the side mirrors to pass each other) and there are several right-angle turns that, if not done correctly, require a three-point maneuver to complete.  Two cars cannot make the turn at the same time.  The flood of motorcycles prevented cars from moving at all in the already tight conditions.  The result was gridlock.

After five minutes, I grew impatient.  We were supposed to pick up our friends and the drive to their house, under normal conditions, should require five minutes.  After ten minutes I had a few choice words for the situation.  Fifteen minutes of not moving and I'd had enough.  I got out of the car.

When you exit the neighborhood from my house, the road heads north to a "T".  Turning left is the traditional (paved) way out of the neighborhood and requires two, right-angle turns.  Turning right will also lead out of the neighborhood on an unpaved road that leads directly through the heart of the cemetery.  Because most of the traffic were detours - and Indonesia doesn't exactly use detour signs to direct the traffic - everyone was trying to remain on the paved roads.

I marched up to the "T" intersection determined to unclog the jam.  The recognized the constant flow of motorcycles prevented cars from completing the turn.  So, I did what any good Indonesian would do.  I directed traffic. 

My wingspan is wide enough I was able to cover the entire gap between the turning car and the edge of the road.  Once I had stopped all the bikes, I redirected them onto the dirt road through the cemetery.  This had the same effect as removing a dam on a river.  Within minutes, all of the motorcycles had cleared and were on their merry way through the cemetery.  Cars started turning again, and my car was soon able to reach the intersection where it picked me up and we continued on to pick up our friends.

We waited fifteen minutes waiting for the situation to resolve itself.  Two minutes after I exited my vehicle, the logjam had cleared.

Next time I won't be so patient.

Domestic Drama

Most people, when they hear we have domestic staff (aka - a maid and a nanny and two drivers) think we are living a life of luxury.  A cushy life.  Spoiled, pampered.

I'll be the first to admit that hired help definitely has its advantages.  But anyone that thinks it comes without complications is grossly misinformed.  To wit:

1)  We just moved to a new house.  When my wife brought her driver and our maid over for their first look, prior to our moving in, chaos ensued.  My wife was standing in the kitchen while her driver and the maid were touring the house and examining the master bedroom. Then our maid screamed.  Apparently, our driver saw ghosts in the master bedroom ("don't worry, they are nice ghosts", he assured us).  This led our maid to request that we hire her husband to be our gardener so she would not be alone in the house during the day.  Instead of hiring her husband, we'll have a blessing performed - both Christian and Muslim, to accommodate the different religions of our staff - to rid the house of ghosts.

2)  Our new house is in a neighborhood - Jeruk Purut - that an Indonesian film company made a horror movie about.  One of the largest cemeteries in the city is nearby, so it was a great location for a ghost story.  To get to our house, our staff will exit the bus at the cemetery.  From there, they either walk, or take an "ojek" (motorcycle taxi) to our house.  Of course, they refuse to walk, even though the distance is the same from their old bus stop to our old house.  They don't want to walk by the cemetery because the hantus (ghosts) will get them.  They requested a 'travel allowance' to pay for the ojek from the bus stop to our new house.  We either had to give them an additional $20/month or find new staff.  We opted for the former.

3)  Our third child (a son) is due in July.  Like we did with our first son, we'll deliver the new baby in Singapore.  Unlike the first time, family is unavailable to go with us.  Because we cannot have our current children unattended while I am at the hospital with my wife, and we have no family or friends in Singapore, we're trying to determine the logistics of child care during child birth.  Our first choice was to bring our nanny.  Of course, she's not an option.  Though she has a passport, her former employers still have it and won't give it to her.  They paid for it, so they feel they own it.  It doesnt' help that she didn't have the necessary paperwork to obtain the passport so they forged it so she could travel with them.  Our next choice was our former nanny.  Her husband won't allow her to nanny for us full time, but was open to a higher paid, 3 month assignment in Singapore.  She has a passport and is ready to go.  Unfortunately, the passport is in her cousin's possession.  Her cousin, who is also friends with our maid, is upset with her for referring our current nanny (who speaks English) instead of the cousin (who doesn't speak English) when our former nanny resigned.  Our maid has also indicated that she will resign if we hire our former nanny for the Singapore trip.  We can always bring our current maid, who is interested in the trip, but she doesn't have the energy of our nannies and, we have concerns about who would take care of the house, the laundry and my meals if she is in Singapore and I am in Jakarta.  (I know.  Many of you are saying "why can't you take care of it?"  I can, but it is cultural suicide for me to do so.  The same reason we have a maid in the first place.)


When you add domestic staff to your household, your home becomes a business.  You lose privacy, you lose familiarity, and you gain drama.  In my home I now need to deal with the same issues of personality differences, salary discussions, and performance discussions that I do in the workplace.

To a large degree, it isn't worth it.

Catching up

With the holidays over, we've been getting back to our normal routines, and establishing some new ones.  Our busy week now follows this routine:

• Monday - Daughter in drawing class and Tae Kwon Do
• Tuesday - Daughter has piano lessons, I play soccer from 7-9, my wife takes my son to Gymboree
• Wednesday - my wife and son have swim class, and then it's date night
• Thursday - Daughter has dance class and then ballet and I have Rugby (touch)
• Friday - Family movie night
• Saturday - Family activity and my wife and I usually go out for dinner
• Sunday - stay at home and I have tennis in the afternoon

Last week, my daughter and I did something together I haven't done since my freshman year in college; something you wouldn't expect to do in Jakarta, Indonesia.  We went ice skating!  One of the malls has an ice skating rink and we took advantage of our first free weekend in several months to pay a visit.  As expected, my daughter struggled at first, but by the end of our hour on the ice, she was able to complete one lap around unassisted!  She was amazing.

 Throughout the week, I've been teaching our kids some favorite activities from my childhood:  wrestling, football, soccer.  My son isn't quite sure what to make of it all, but he sure does enjoy wrestling his sister - especially if she tries to take away his blocks.  He also has found a new activity of his own he really enjoys.

This Saturday, we tried to go see the new Yogi Bear movie.  The website said the movie started at 11:30 AM so we arrived with enough time to drop our son and nanny off at the indoor playground, get some popcorn, and watch the movie.  Of course, the actual showtime of the movie was at 10:30 PM.  The ONLY showing of the movie was at 10:30 PM.  For a kid's movie.  Then today, she went back to the same theater with her friend to see Tangled for a second time.  They arrived in time for the movie, only to learn that the movie theater was closed for renovations.  Lesson learned:  don't believe the website, make a phone call.