Santa misplaces things

Over dinner a few weeks ago, my wife and I discussed our mutual disappointment with the paucity of yule-tide givings we had provided for our daughter. There were many reasons - so many visitors, so little knowledge of where to find what we wanted, how long it takes to do anything in this city. The list continues. I reminded her she was obdurate prior to the holiday when I recommended we buy more gifts as she did not want to cloy our child to spoilage. She demurred, initially, but eventually acquiesced to my assertion.

Upon agreement, we had to posit the real question - what do we do about it? Do we buy more gifts without a real reason? Do we wait until her birthday in June? We vacillated for several days, and finally, last week, agreed we should buy her more legos - the Duplo variety.

That's when the fun began. Borrowing from the chimerical, though arguably antediluvian, ideals represented by our good friend St. Nick, I fabricated a ruse under which we would present the gifts to our scion. I called my wife and asked her to write the following note:

"Dear Gabi - When I returned home, I found these under the seat in my sleigh. They were meant for you. Sorry they are late! - Santa"

Historians, when they author the biography of her life, will undoubtedly elucidate on her elation more assiduously than I. Suffice to say, she was happy.

As for myself, I thought of an excellent route to making the most of the after Christmas sales. What if Santa had a surplus as a result of last minute transitions from the Nice list, to the Naughty list? He would need to dispense this largess to those whose approbation and amiability exceeded any others, right? So now I get to give gifts late at a lower cost, while simultaneously edifying my children on the consequences of disagreeable behavior! Not bad.


Was that fun to read? Now you know why academics are so BORING! Just say that you felt bad about not giving your kid enough for Christmas so you thought up a story about Santa finding some extra gifts. That helped you think of how you can use the guise of Santa taking presents from bad kids and giving them to good kids as a way to buy the toys cheaper and giving them later (maybe even when they are back in stock). Requires fewer words.