Spoiled. Privileged. Lucky. Plush. Opulent. Our friends and family in the U.S. have used each of these words to describe our domestic staff situation, and understandably so. It is uncommon in the Western world to have a maid and a nanny with the frequency with which we have them here. Having lived both ways, I prefer not having them.
After our most recent nanny challenges, we've decided to, at least for now, pare down our staff to one maid and one nanny. Having more help just isn't worth the hassle. After our last nanny quit, we initially hired the wife of my driver, on a two week trial (for her and for us), but she lasted less than a week. The childcare for her children fell through so she could no longer work for us. A week later she tries to return and dictate her schedule and her salary - I told her we'd pass.
I then had the bright idea that I would take a portion of the salary we were paying our second nanny, and share with the maid and nanny we were keeping, and ask them to make minor modifications to their hours. I was trying to accomplish two objectives: early morning help readying the kids for school, and an end to paying overtime. By adjusting hours and increasing salary accordingly, I believed I was being fair.
Our staff took it as an opportunity to renegotiate. Every other Saturday off. An additional premium for coming in at 6 AM instead of 7 AM. I understand the right to negotiate with your employer - I've done it myself. But when I'm already paying my staff more than other expats, and we expect less of them than other families because we don't like having them in the first place, I was very turned off by the whole process and really just want to fire everyone and start over.
In the end, we settled for just leaving things as they are. They get no more pay, we'll continue managing mornings on our own and remembering to have cash to pay for overtime.
For those of you thinking: "Why not just get rid of the help?" Two reasons:
1) We hired a maid because we were told we had to or people would rob us. If we don't hire local help, locals think we're being greedy and not sharing our good fortune.
2) We hired a nanny because we discovered very quickly a "playdate" was nannies getting together with the kids, not mommies. My wife felt awkward (and rightfully so) being the only mom at a playdate full of nannies.
So, now we have undesired drama thrust into our lives.
How would you handle it?
After our most recent nanny challenges, we've decided to, at least for now, pare down our staff to one maid and one nanny. Having more help just isn't worth the hassle. After our last nanny quit, we initially hired the wife of my driver, on a two week trial (for her and for us), but she lasted less than a week. The childcare for her children fell through so she could no longer work for us. A week later she tries to return and dictate her schedule and her salary - I told her we'd pass.
I then had the bright idea that I would take a portion of the salary we were paying our second nanny, and share with the maid and nanny we were keeping, and ask them to make minor modifications to their hours. I was trying to accomplish two objectives: early morning help readying the kids for school, and an end to paying overtime. By adjusting hours and increasing salary accordingly, I believed I was being fair.
Our staff took it as an opportunity to renegotiate. Every other Saturday off. An additional premium for coming in at 6 AM instead of 7 AM. I understand the right to negotiate with your employer - I've done it myself. But when I'm already paying my staff more than other expats, and we expect less of them than other families because we don't like having them in the first place, I was very turned off by the whole process and really just want to fire everyone and start over.
In the end, we settled for just leaving things as they are. They get no more pay, we'll continue managing mornings on our own and remembering to have cash to pay for overtime.
For those of you thinking: "Why not just get rid of the help?" Two reasons:
1) We hired a maid because we were told we had to or people would rob us. If we don't hire local help, locals think we're being greedy and not sharing our good fortune.
2) We hired a nanny because we discovered very quickly a "playdate" was nannies getting together with the kids, not mommies. My wife felt awkward (and rightfully so) being the only mom at a playdate full of nannies.
So, now we have undesired drama thrust into our lives.
How would you handle it?
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