Anger Management

When I first started travelling to southeast Asia, their world renowned hospitality won me over. When I brought my family, I found their deep appreciation of family and devotion to nurturing children very appealing. I've been here long enough now that I'm starting to experience things that annoy me.

Today we went to the mall to see if we could find Christmas decorations - we couldn't. We had our son in a stroller. The malls in Indonesia are large and multi-floor. Before the baby, we would use the escalators. Now, because escalators are not ideals modes of transport for a stroller, we prefer to use the elevators when they are available. This brings me to my first gripe. Nothing annoys me more than seeing able bodied people using services intended for the elderly, injured, or otherwise overly burdened. We waited three times for the only two available elevators only to find them packed with tweens and adults who were more than capable of taking the more readily available and accessible escalators. I honestly believe if these people could ride a mechanized vehicle instead of walk, they would. We ran into this in Singapore, too. Escalators - which are everywhere - are empty. Elevators are packed. I really think it comes down to laziness. One guy in Singapore, when we asked for directions from the subway station to Downtown East said it was too far to walk. I said, isn't it about 1.5 kilometers? He said it was, then said we must be from somewhere else because Singaporeans would not walk that far. Better to pay for a cab than walk a city block? Outrageous.

Unable to use the elevator, we had to move to the escalator - with a stroller, a young child, and bags of our shopping purchases. I'm following my wife, who was carrying our baby, and moving a little slow trying to push the stroller, hold my daughter's hand, and carry our purchases. I start to turn into the escalator, and these two women - a mother and daughter, cut in front of me and block my path, making my maneuver more difficult. I almost went off on them. The people in Singapore weren't much better boarding and exiting the subway. Pushing, shoving, and elbowing to be in front. So much for Asian hospitality. I think large, over-populated cities just become accustomed to rudeness.

While my wife and I shopped - for a new toaster and wrapping paper - we deposited our daughter and an Arts and Crafts section of a department store so she could have fun painting. We roamed around a bit and then came back to help her finish painting. That's when we noticed the music. Rap and R&B complete with sexually explicit lyrics and swearing! Of course, it was all in English so we were the only ones in the store who really knew how bad it was. Just amazing.

Finally, I'm starting to get really annoyed when I see men in their 50's and 60's with young, attractive, 20-something locals on their arms. In the US, this never really bothered me. The "attraction" is the same in both countries - his money, her looks. I think in the US I just felt that the women that did that were doing so out of laziness, greed, or low self-esteem. In my mind, if that was the life they wanted, that's their decision. They have plenty of other options available and just choose not to use them. Here, I feel like the expats are taking advantage of the local poverty. These men aren't millionaires like in the states. They are, predominantly, six-figure earners - not poor, but not rich, either. Here, it seems like the women are doing it because they don't feel like there are any other options available. Not enough jobs, not enough access to education, and they possess an asset that wealthy men want - looks and a figure those men could not attain in an industrialized nation. It's exploitative and sickening.

What can I do about it? Nothing, so I do nothing. Otherwise, I become the angry bule. That benefits no one.