Domestic Help has its Drawbacks

When you speak to expats, or middle class and wealthy locals, they all rave about their maids and nannies. How much easier their lives are because of the domestic help. They seldom talk about the challenges.

I believe in full disclosure.

1) Money is a big deal. We received very good advice before we hired any domestic help - make them sign a contract. Our contract outlines the monthly salary, when they are eligible for a raise, stipulates their working hours, when and at what rate they will receive overtime, any medical and other benefits they are entitled to and, most importantly, that asking for money is grounds for termination. I cannot tell you the number of friends and colleagues who have complained of being asked for an advance, a loan, or more money. We have not had that experience. We have experienced, however, requests for "transportation costs". The contract indicates we will pay 30,000 Rupiah after 9 PM. Apparently, the taxi is 45,000 Rupiah, and our maid constantly reminds us of this, and asks for it if she stays past 6.

2) Money is a big deal, part 2. I've mentioned before that I pay more for my staff than my local colleagues, or my colleagues with an Indonesian wife. I think I've gained two benefits by paying more. First, and very important for us, our help speaks passable English. Second, they don't quit. Three of my colleagues have been through 3 different sets of help in the year I've been here. We're still with the original people we hired. But the help all talk - and they discriminate. The nanny of one of our friends who are moving on to a new assignment needed a new gig. So, our friends referred her to a family that just moved here. The nanny replied that she didn't want to work for that family because the "misses is Indian, and they are cheap." They want to work for Westerners because: 1) we don't know what the local price is and end up paying more and, 2) they think we will pay more and ask for less.

3) The Kids are Spoiled. This probably should have been obvious. We've seen it with many expat kids. The nannies aren't really enforcers - I think they fear termination if the kid gives a bad report - so, when left with a nanny, the kids run wild. They scream, they are bossy, and, often, downright rude. Neither of us expected our 4 month old to be spoiled. In Indonesia, especially in Bali, it is customary that a child is always in someones arms. Bali, in fact, has a special ceremony at 6 months of age where the child's feet will touch the ground for the first time. When the nanny is here, she is always holding our son. When she leaves, he still expects to be held all the time and cries incessantly until one of us hold him. Makes preparing and eating dinner a challenge. On the plus side, our son doesn't have hang ups about interacting with strangers. In the long run, I think this will serve him well.

4) One is easy, two is hard. If there is one helper, they know they are appreciated. When there are two, they talk. Then one, or both, becomes upset about their pay. If you are paying them the same and they have different jobs (like maid and nanny), one or both of them will be upset because they will feel that their job is more important and, therefore, deserves more pay. If you are not paying them the same, one or both will be upset because either they are the one making less, or they feel the gap is not large enough based on the amount of work they do. Even our contracts haven't really helped in this respect, though neither are asking for a raise (they know the consequences). I think the best thing to do is find one person who can do it all, and pay them well.


I guess if the biggest problem I have in life at the moment is dealing with my domestic help, I don't really have much to complain about.